


The Life We Share

by Reddestiny92



Category: X-Men Evolution
Genre: Age Difference, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Nonsense, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2020-10-27 22:23:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 27,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20767898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reddestiny92/pseuds/Reddestiny92
Summary: The reality is..the mutants are a small group and this fact, while its school glue against the cement they need brings them together. Bad analogies aside while a new enemy slowly comes along with the help of an old foe feelings shift here and there as the uneasy alliance offers a new chance for a few couples to come to life. After all with those genuinely happy alone romantically in the fair few there aren't many choices for their opposites either.With Erik's  forced introduction they can't  all shack up with a human even if they still protect them.Life's  a hoot ain't it?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Yes this was written on my phone if you saw my bio. It's been a wheel I know but the writing bug and plot bunnies....meh. Anyhow this is kind of a mess and for Logan and Emma well imagine them how you like but I prefer their Wolverine and the xmen styles. 
> 
> Hard to picture I guess but works for me also yes Charles can walk but not for the reason he could in the other show which is why emma is there and not into Scott. 
> 
> Just so we are clear though even though it should be obvious all mature scenes feature the 18 and up crowd I like the evolution style for everyone else so of course they are in the proper age group the rating is fine I think but depending on my mood I might just turn it up.
> 
> Lastly this is a reach I know you'll see a lot of that to make this work. Hope you like it.

Jean sighed as she stared out the window,ever since she broke up with Scott he had shut himself off. She thought he may even hook up with Rogue though the idea was questionable he didn't have to touch her to be with her. Though she turned her attention away from him too. She still spent an awful lot of time on her own as far as Jean saw, as their first non-mutant student moved in claiming her brother's time with a simple smile.

Which she was fairly chill about, after finding about their bond through adoption and presented the choice to accept or reject one another..she genuinely seemed happy he was happy. Amanda was a welcome change around the mansion, though her parents were livid she chose Kurt and with a little mental tempting from Charles they kept their ranting and raving to their own home. 

An ability many didn't know he had, if they were on the outside anyhow. Jean eyed him as he side stepped Rogue as she began talking to him. Hands in his pockets he just kept walking ignoring her words. She just rolled her eyes catching the red head. Though instead of sneering at her she offered a small smile until Amanda came to talk to her instead.

She couldn't help but be a little jealous. It wasn't just peace with Kurt ever since Apocalypse's end she seemed at peace everywhere. Where Jean felt a little more off every day something Charles hadn't noticed though he'd been off too, many of them had maybe that made it easier to stay together while protecting people who didn't really appreciate it. 

That wasn't entirely the case it was bearable with friends in the right places. Charles believed both that with them the seed was there more could come and that if they had to leave and he was wrong only together could it work their numbers were too low for anything else.

She turned from the window toward the vanity and froze seeing where the wild woman in the mirror glared at her. Her glowing gaze matching Jean's before she once again saw her own reflection in the now shattered mirror. Not realizing she had hit the floor but she had grown used to it and at least moved things out of the way less she bang her head on the wrong item one day.

No need for her to make anyone worry..


	2. Dazed and confused

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything happens for a reason....cliche,? Perhaps, but still true this is just the answer for why things happen as they do as the story goes on.
> 
> That is, the p at professor should know something, shouldn't he?
> 
> Also technically a trigger warning near the end when Storm opens a door.

Charles had been in a bad mood he couldn't really explain. It was no big deal to most people, sometimes you just had bad days. This was new, needing to avoid his dear students and beloved friends less he get them with a display of power he thought he long since mastered. It was like he was simply too anxious to be around any of them, everything he used to trust with reason now seemed a threat. It had only been a few short months trying to keep their short alliance with Magneto's crew and the brotherhood.

Still it was draining, at the very least that was what he was going to tell himself. It made sense to be weary of the day they got bored of playing nice. For now he insisted they keep up appearances. Protect those fools, show them where they are wrong and mutants are superior.

He paused shaking the thought from his head. Perhaps he was spending too much time with Erik.

Never the less he wasn't entirely confined to his room. Hank and Bobby set up cameras when the youth learned to do as asked, a precaution when they had guests of course. Charles could walk past any of them when everyone was asleep and see through them what had been recorded directly. He didn't know why but he felt that Apocalypse left a little extra power around he hadn't yet been able to ask Erik about it but the other man seemed to be moving more than just metal.

He wasn't sure about Storm, Ororo had developed a closer bond with Logan. Often times Charles would see them off from the window maybe they were just blowing off steam maybe her abilities remained unchanged. Either way, she seemed fine. He glanced at the door to his office always closed and locked just in case he hated it but it was for the best. Especially while trying to keep up with paperwork and calls from those he hoped would also support mutants.

At least he had something to do.

Looking up at the sound of the knock he found feeling his mind pulse. He hadn't noticed anyone approaching him which served to aggravate him a bit. Clearing his throat he called out, having conversations through the door wasn't always the best option either but he could control his mental outbursts much more that way...a few times a day anyhow.

He knew many gave him his space not really knowing all that happened while he was a puppet.

It gave him an excuse, for now.

"It's just me professor."

He stilled hearing Wanda, her, he definitely should have sensed.

"Yes Wanda?" when did she even arrive?

"You called me, what is it?"

He rubbed his temples he had no memory of that.

"My father told me to come in case it was important."

"Just a quick check up.." he lied trying to come up with something.

Obviously she didn't mean a phone call.

"I'm fine.."

"No issues with your powers going out of control then?"

Wanda toyed with the slowing growing frayed ends of her hair on the other side. Bobby warned her that he wouldn't open the door but it was still odd. She couldn't really tell if there was an issue on his end that was a threat or a reason to be concerned for him.

"I think I have more control now than ever..I was coming over anyways to see if I could try it out." She offered.

"Of course, stay as long as you like, our guest rooms are underground though make sure you let Hank know. He'll let you in, we'll talk later." 

Saved by a well timed phone call he was sure she heard ring he took her quiet 'okay' and waited till he was alone again before really acknowledging the caller.

....

Making her way down the steps she found Amanda with Kurt and Rogue. She surveyed them for a moment not much changed maybe new jeans and a new skirt but the dynamic was clear even to her. Amanda noticed her first and smiled as she approached them. Absently asking about Hank while her gaze fell on one.

Rogue saw who she really asked.

"Come on he is probably in the infirmary about now I'll see you guys later." 

They had been inviting her to a movie and it had been nice to be included. Jean was right in that area she was happy seeing Kurt all smiles with his girlfriend but she also didn't force her way into the third wheel position. That part, she could do without.

She wasn't overwhelmingly bitter about it though, at least he hadn't forgotten about her.

"Thanks." Rogue started.

"Yeah sure." Wanda mumbled.

The awkwardness was clear of course it came mostly from Rogue, it was there. It wasn't like she couldn't find Hank herself. In the times Agatha pushed her to come by, to get out of her comfort zone and grow used to others she wandered into Rogue for a while at a time they were sort of friends.

Though they counted the times they were just glad to find another that enjoyed silence.

...

Ororo made her way to Jean's room intending to ask if she could borrow one of her jackets. A bit silly she thought but she did like dressing up a little more around Logan whether she could alter weather or not made little difference. Lately making it chillier or warmer had also been possible but it was nice not to have to do that and the jacket she wanted went well with her Jean's. Even sillier..she saw how he looked her over when he thought she wasn't paying attention. He noticed when she dressed up.

She almost stopped herself from knocking, they hadn't said they were dating really. He also didn't completely stay clear of more affectionate actions. Maybe it was just fun and maybe the gruff man was just as lovey-dovey as he was going to get without her pushing for more.

Still, she was okay with that, for now, she just wandered what else he thought of her. Knocking she waited a bit before opening the door just a crack. 

"Jean? Sorry to bother you dear but.." opening the door a bit more feeling a push to do so she paused.

She could really understand it but she knew she had to get in there.

"Jean?"

She dropped her bag seeing her unconscious, a broken mirror bloody shards standing much too far to just be hair. Rather than scream she rushed to her side to check her pulse feeling it was just strong enough she looked toward the window bringing a tornado in view quickly as it came it went age repeated this as she couldn't just leave her and anyone knew it was as good as an alarm. Someone had to get Hank and find Storm.


	3. A Watch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concerned over Jean's attempt to "take her own life" Charles puts her on watch. While considering if they were really looking at attempted suicide or an accident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So they don't know about you know who in this cut up timeline they only know what they see. Then of course when Jean lost control before.  
Also still kind of a trigger warning it'll be clearer what it looks like here.

_'Jean...can you hear me? Wake up...please...'_

Charles had been at this for hours and he was getting frustrated. Mostly with himself, he could only feel like a failure. When Hank came to his room he was relieved he sensed him coming only for his heart to sink into his stomach. They got her stable and got the house settled for dinner before coming to him. Just like they would any other time he needed space. Not a common thing no, but it was good to be prepared. Ororo didn't say anything to the others just that Jean had panicked and startled her but she was safe now she guessed it was lucky many of them were just getting home or were busy away from the windows.

Charles wouldn't allow himself to keep to his room but he was concerned about his nerves. Losing control, he saw limited visions he couldn't really make out even as he kept his distance he felt close to Jean. Their meetings weren't through the door but across the hall rare just a couple times a week.

It offered some peace and made it possible for him to take his nightly walks. Sometimes part of him wanted to talk to her in person but really he feared what could happen if she saw those power spikes of his. He wanted to keep her comfortable around him so if she struggled again she would come to him he didn't know who else she'd go to.

She admitted she thought the alliance was limited but she didn't want to be the to break it. Especially with an accidental display they wouldn't understand wasn't personal. She seemed at peace with that she could be around everyone easily enough only withdrawing if she absolutely had to. Like when Wanda was around they almost seemed to behave like charges around one another perhaps one sided it wasn't clear but without Charles considering it, it was another reason everyone knew to wait for him in case he began the same reaction after a lifetime of more control than most of his students.

He didn't notice, he repeated to himself, again and again what path she was slipping down. He wondered if perhaps it was his fault and he pushed his own concerns on her without meaning to and she had been fine before he slipped in her mind. Not that he wished to make it all about himself, no it was more of a matter of the reality. The connection between two minds especially like theirs even Agatha and Wanda had their own bond. Not quite the same but with the same effect sometimes things carried it was no accident a side effect, a perk, part of their battle whichever it just happened. Though on Wanda's end Agatha was the mother she never had and she obeyed her with out question Agatha was just glad to see her growing as a person and smiled warmly welcoming the family connection it was real enough for them.

It wasn't the same for Charles he didn't know what he thought about Jean some days. Though it hardly mattered he was happy to let her in, trusted her in every way, and it was ripping him apart to see her like this. He was no longer sure how he kept it together. He jumped as Ororo touched his shoulder.

He didn't notice her coming back in.

"Charles it's late you're exhausted she is steady but she may not hear you until later."

She avoided the obvious listening to the deafening hum of machines. She lost a lot of blood and not just from the mess of her arms, Hank made sure they had blood on storage just in case, some were not a concern but those who were he had type and however much he could get he still had connections at a small but well cared for clinic in fact once he told Charles of his volunteer work there that they found truly left a mark for good he he began to invest in it.

Without having a worry that any meds or other supplies they might need would be tampered with it was proving it's value daily.

Ororo swallowed a lump in her throat moving to change the bandages on her wrists. At first it seemed she just fell on the glass the jagged cuts said much more. Hearing her sniff he rested his hand on her shoulder as she sat next to him once finished. He wanted to protect those that were important to him but he hated this the calmest he had been in some time and this is the case. He hoped they knew he still cared.

Her light smile past the red eyes said a bit, the door being thrown open caught both of then. Logan came to the side as Ororo looked up she saw that expression Logan kept himself at his favorite distance but he did care she knew they both did.

"Hank told me...when did it happen?" He had come meaning to pick up Ororo after finding another place that didn't care about the news on mutants.

He of course had no idea what was going on but it still didn't feel right. A gut punch he didn't need right now he saw them as family after all those younger he let them closer than he showed sometimes but it was true enough Ororo took his hand.

"We don't know...just that I went and saw her at the right time...I dont think she meant for it to go so far." She said lightly.

He looked away from Jean glancing at the other.

"How can we be sure?"

"When I found her it's like she was trying to clean it up the blood was fading from the carpet under her bedroom light but she was still getting cold like it had been a long while since she collapsed. If I went earlier it could have been less serious." She sighed looking down.

"It's not your fault, it's no one's fault." Hank said coming in.

"It seems she just had a breakdown and attacked herself.." he went on.

"Well obviously." Logan spat.

Hank shook his head.

"I mean because of her powers it's like her body is practicing. It possible seeing the blood move made her panic when she mad the cuts the blood poured freely but not enough she would pass on us...like that." They looked where he pointed watching the blood bag pulse like a rising chest breathing easily in sleep.

"I didn't know she could do that."

"I didn't either it must be new or her own powers were increased...its not something you can practice. Until we can speak we must take this as an accident." Charles began still watching the bag.

"You can't be serious what difference would that make?" Logan snapped.

"Logan if it's an accident she'll cooperate if it was done intentionally and we push her she may not come back and she'll find another way to do it. We have no idea what's in her mind and we can't be the ones to push her over the edge." He paused looking her over.

"Then of course there is my son to consider..if this is like Ian's flames with the unpredictability of Lucas we will be even more limited." 

The others remained silent considering what little he shared of his son.

"Don't look at me like that the steps forward are the same we'll have her on watch and if I can get her to practice to show me what she can do we will do so in here she'll never be far from safety."

He was right as much as he could be no control with help with such an ability..issue whichever. Was easier to manage than a mutant wanting to end it all with the power to shut everyone out. Less terrifying too, not by much but enough. 

"What should we tell the other's?" Hank asked.

"That she's comfortable." Charles said his mind once again on the angry gashes he had seen.

It would have to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmhm it's a mess but needed filler rather than skipping to when she wakes up.


	4. After the fact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a different stitched together chapter the other one was deleted when my phone was bumped.
> 
> Reaching Jean one time, no problem for her, even with a poor choice made.

Wanda woke up confused for once her fuzzy memories were coming back on their own. She had been relaxing in the now guest space once used while the school was rebuilt. Toad was once again bothering her. Singing, off key Rogue was with her she sighed rubbing her temples she used her without a thought.Toad wouldn't listen, she grabbed her giving the most obvious kiss she could using her powers manipulating and nearly removing the no touch rule with Rogue.

He got it then but while she was really free from the agitating boy she knew her real loss.

Staring at the ceiling of the infirmary then at the clock she saw it was late into the evening now as that happened much earlier. Charles mentally checked on her admitted he couldn't reach Jean and she offered to help. She could still feel the mistrust from Charles when she touched Jean even by her temples.

Though that hadn't been right he agreed to her help. She wondered if she had been paranoid and was only projecting her feelings on him. After being locked away so long, even if she didn't know the whole story she knew something happened. Something had her people skills at the level they were. That was no excuse she knew right from wrong.

"Wanda?"

Turning her head she looked over at Charles as he walked in she still pictured him the wheelchair. All she was told that while recovering from Apocalypse's control he gained more than just his body.

He normally seemed happier at least from what she sensed considering he would remain locked up. Now he seemed simply relieved.

"How are you feeling?"

"Just peachy..what about Jean? I found her didn't I?"

It had been a quick dip in the mind to pull Jean back she couldn't really remember what else was there. 

"She is fine just resting she been using her powers again while she slept." He answered slowly.

"Good."

"About Rogue.." she gave him a look as he shrugged.

Mentioning that she brought her up during the brief link with Jean and of course Charles heard.

"What about her?"

He moved to leave.

"If it really bothers y ok u so much dont be like those she doesn't trust."

"What?"

"Dont just walk away talk to her either your meant to be friends or more. You leave now and you lose it all. Just make sure she understands it was only because of how forceful he is. Good luck...get some more rest for now." He offered a gentle smile nodding toward her dinner tray on his way out.

She blushed but sighed, more out of relief he did know Rogue better than she did. Maybe she could talk to her. She tensed feeling a poke to her mind. From the other room moving to grab her soda she smiled slightly knowing what the weak but firm call was for.

_'Yeah yeah, you're welcome.'_

Part of her was happy to help.

....

A few days later Charles released Wanda from care who he wanted to monitor anyways. Though kept as she insisted Rogue needed her space. Jean opened her eyes but while her wounds healed quickly, leaving painful scars. Her mind was still a bit jumbled. Ororo and Logan let the team know why she was out of commission seeing that Charles could reach her and prove it wasn't a suicide attempt they left that out.

Though she wanted to hurt herself that much he heard he didn't know why. It didn't really matter if she found what she was looking for and was at peace the best he could do was be there to make sure it wouldn't happen again. 

....

Wanda absently roamed the halls of the institute offering a smile when she was greeted. Looking for Rogue until she bumped into her brother.

"Kurt.."

He grinned flicking his tail maybe it was Amanda but he was a lot more confident he and fuzzy.

"Storm told us that Jean was locked up till you went to get her. You really are one of us now." He said cheerfully.

She wasn't so sure about that but it wasn't an idea to completely reject. 

"I dont know...maybe I was looking for your sister."

"Yeah going to kiss her again?" Her face flamed as his smirk grew.

"Don't make that face I was going to play over protective brother but I mean she was just so surprised you got past her powers .I could really only assure her you actually liked her."

"Kurt I'm going to kill you!"

He teleported before she could reach him making her stop dead before Wanda. Who wasn't feeling so smiley all of a sudden. Did she like her? It wasn't just a Toad or Rogue situation. She didn't know about anything like this.

"Since your out of the infirmary I guess Jean's really okay?" 

As for Rogue her powers kept her sheltered but not to Wanda's level. There could have been better ways to find out Wanda could touch her but she wasn't that angry, anymore.

"Yeah."

"You?" She added.

"Fine."

Rogue absently brushed her hair out of her eyes.

" I heard about some sales we should go before everything gets picked over."

"_You _want to go the mall?" Wanda asked eyes wide, if only briefly.

"Yeah if I ask Kitty she'll go and bring me back something pink and covered in glitter." She turned to leave and Wanda grabbed her arm.

"Just like that?" She mumbled.

"Yeah unless you want to fight about it." Rogue rugged out of her hold stepping backwards and turning away.

Smiling only when she was sure Wanda was following...just not too long less Kurt catch her. She couldn't help it. It opened a door she didn't know was there and all things considered she was angrier at the situation. She couldn't say when it happened but at some point she reached it, a time where she wouldn't have minded if Wanda kissed her. Part of her was more relieved she didn't seem to regret it.

She wasn't much for the wall but with the limited support there were only so many places they could shop..why not take advantage.

.....

Jean opened her eyes feeling like she'd run a marathon, slept too long yet hadn't rested at all. She jumped seeing Scott staring at her. Of all people she didn't expect him to be looking over her.

"They told us about you struggling with new abilities is that why you wanted to break up?" He asked quickly.

She only shrugged she didn't know what to say to that. She just had a feeling she didn't want him anymore it didn't seem right to just tell him that either. He clocked his head, messy hair, unshaven face he looked like he could use some rest. Lookinh away she saw her sleeves glad her wrists were covered.

She wondered if he would even notice if they weren't. 

"You must have something to say on it."

"I dont want to talk about it."

"Too bad we need to."

She frowned.

"Just leave me alone Scott." She jumped as he roughly grabbed her arm...and she sent him flying.

Free from an IV she hopped out of bed to go to his side but he shoved her back.

"You're a real bitch for that Jean.." he stormed off as she sighed.

Knowing she hadn't done it

.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I picture them out of their shells like this what can ya do? :D


	5. Thoughts of a telepath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As frustrations set in ones needs spike where they least expect it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to grab all the typos but whatever I miss I hope you can understand what is inportant.

Charles watched Scott take off and sensing the rise from Jean he figured it was better this way. He knew Scott would come back but he needed to chill out for now. Looking over the banister now he saw things had returned to normal. Kurt talked with the others while Amanda tried to help Kitty with a muffin recipe. He could hear her trying to find a nice way to say she should take a break from the kitchen. He clocked his head seeing Remi had arrived he wasn't sure he'd still enjoy coming by after he shifted away from Rogue. Though he supposed comfort came in many forms.

It was probably enjoyable for what it was they didn't hug or greet each other in any way. Nothing that stood out they were just the right amount of comfortable with each other.

Part of him wondered what that felt like, he wished he could nod toward his own naivety. Though he understood plenty as silly as it was he took some of the counseling he lead for the younger students to heart. It wasn't that he knew nothing it just wasn't something he desired at all before.

He didn't see sense in brushing off the passionate feelings of youth or the passion of a seasoned lover he wanted to understand it. It took some time before he could admit where he went wrong with Gabrielle..that was how he meant to learn she was more to study than anything else.

He didn't think it was right but she'd been a bright eyed woman when they met. Just the type that would wait for his affections to grow. He took the offer and look where it landed them. He couldn't say he was emotionless it hurt a bit but it didn't at the same time. When he finally really considered what he did with her he thought she'd be happy to be free. They had a prenup she kept her own he took off it should have been easy. A loveless marriage with both halves protected. Though it wasn't.

Bitterly he thought of his son, if he could have surpassed that roadblock for him. He'd been busy yes but for someone he'd love there would have been plenty of time.

Now he was observing again without hurting anyone.

He glanced at Wanda as she came in with Rogue both carrying dark dark bags filled with even darker clothes. He thought of Erik neither of them were perfect in their life choices but he could turn things around..though Wanda needed an extra hand there was still Pietro who knew all his sins yet kept his secrets remaining devoted.

Charles wondered what that felt like to have. There was a time..countless times where he had no clue but now a days when he caught the other smiling it was genuine. The man cared, he lived his children and that was what he really needed to snap, but in the proper direction. Charles was curious if he could feel that even if David gave home a chance one telepath to another he would know to keep his distance.

That would hurt a lot more than wasted time with a fake wife.

"Jean you're all better!"

Shaken from his thoughts he saw the group noticing the red head who had at some point gotten back to her room and showered. Mostly at peace she smiled at him before joining the group below he felt a bit warm watching her there was comfort there.

Strangely perfect.****


	6. Movie night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little quality time...

Feeling frustrated, by what she couldn't be sure, Jean could only think of keeping herself busy. It had been a slow week and she found little to keep her busy at least Scott seemed to be avoiding her. Something that could be for the best. Walking down the hall with only the sound of her footsteps as company late into the night, she continued on wishing she had some sort of distraction.

She stopped finally realizing she wasn't alone anymore. Behind her Charles was levitating with a tray following behind him. Everything neat and steady. Though his eyes were blindfolded stepping out of his way she watched carefully he mixed a cup of tea while spreading chocolate on a biscuit she noticed the broom he brought along if any crumbs dropped. 

Perhaps silly but she saw what he was doing, relying solely on his abilities. Not because he couldn't do the simple acts on his own but because he did. During the days he'd come out of his office he was always busy with something whether it was helping with lunch, or preparing a group for a Logan training day, even just picking and choosing which chores he would rather do. Like he avoided his powers completely just to test them now..away from everyone. 

She wondered if he was finally struggling or if he had grown stronger and had something to fear. It was and odd time to train anything for most of them but no thoughts to distract, or being able to freely work without hurting someone on accident it was valuable for them.

She almost called out to him but let him go on about his work. She could always ask him about it later. 

....

Early after when the mansion was quiet the front door slowly creaked open. Bobby tensed sneaking in used to be easier at least it seemed like it. 

"You know, it's better to just open the door quickly and deal with the consequences."

He jumped swirling around as he stared up at Remi's usually smirking face.

"I...uh.."

"You..uh what kid?" He teased as Bobby pouted.

"Don't tell anyone..."

Remi rubbed his chin shifting to lean against the railing. He looked him over, since turning 21 he filled out properly didn't seem so boyish and had the makings of a man even a goatee it was hilarious hearing him plead in a deeper voice. 

"Aren't you old enough to go out?"

"Yeah but.."

"So that means you don't care that they know just that they know what you were doing?" He asked, smirk growing as Bobby flushed.

"I...well I guess."

"What were you up to?"

"I was just at a party." He said absently.

"Where?"

He groaned, not really concerned about Remi everyone expected him he liked to stay sharp training here. 

"Why do you care?"

"Well you wont let me inside I can only assume you're convinced I'll go running to Charles since I know you only have curfews as a rule to keep the peace with this shithole's residents."

He moved from the door unaware he had been doing that. He chewed on his lip as he heard the door open.

"Just get inside your secret's safe with me."

He winked as he walked in Bobby looked over barely catching the blue dolphin stamp on the back of his hand his face blood red knowing he knee exactly where he had been. The stamp was used to mark people who paid to get into a small but popular club. The club that used it catered to mutants and humans so he didn't have to worry about the curfew with them.

He had been messing with him but Bobby only cared what it would cost to keep him quiet. How much did he know?

.....

Jean held back a yawn, that afternoon while Logan was out Ororo had pulled aside whoever she ran into insisting on a movie night. You could skip if her pout couldn't guilt you into coming. Though she didn't pick the movie leaving most of them dozing off. Since being with Logan, as Kitty might describe it, her taste in movies promised at least a good time. This mess...well they could thank Evan for that he was visiting and chose the first thing he could find.

Ororo couldn't follow the plot but she was glad to see her nephew in one piece. They could allow her that much. Kitty sighed leaning against Amanda she looked up wondering when Tabitha got away. Though with Kurt on the other side Amanda didn't mind being used as a pillow either.

"Is it over yet?" She asked.

"Got another thirty minutes.." Rohue groaned Wanda hadn't come back since their little shopping trip though she wasn't left on her own either.

"Hey now I tried." Evan said as the collective groan filled the room.

"Yeah could be worst, we could go back to the beginning and be stuck there." Amara mumbled.

That'd got a laugh at least..and a pillow thrown her way.

" Not my fault Auntie O said to pick something everyone would watch." He said firmly.

"The problem with crappy b movies everyone can watch just for bragging rights to admit they got through it." She added.

Jean grinned as he tossed another pillow though a good natured grin said he just wanted to finish it. She looked over feeling a nudge. 

"Before I fall asleep the professor said he wanted to talk to you." Ororo said still somewhat entertained.

"Did he say what about?"

She shook her head.

"He didn't say but he didn't seem to upset so it's probably just a check up. You're not struggling with your powers again are you?" 

They let the incident rest as Charles wanted but that didn't mean they were no longer concerned. She patted her arm saying she was fine at least she thought so. She wondered if he actually noticed her watching she could join him when she couldn't sleep or something. She hoped she hadn't had issues while sleeping there had been a few times she woke up floating outside unaware of when she did it at least he always looked out for her since then one less worry.

She hoped anyhow.


	7. How things shift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something is up with Charles..duh but I want sure what to say.

Charles groaned as his head pounded, he was waiting to speak to Jean. He thought he had himself under control but seeing that it had been a work of unknown powers surfacing... that she didn't want to end her life he was set right back. He didn't want to step away again but if he couldn't get himself together he'd have little choice.

He chose to turn to her though he previously thought different the nagging feeling of limited options got to him. It was a little different talking to Ororo he saw how she lit up with what she shared with Logan never the less she was still a dear friend who made time for everyone who needed her. Though she wasn't a telepath losing herself in her own mind.

It was unnerving he almost wanted to tell her to turn around and go to bed. Only to have his mind caving in on itself things just weren't right. He didn't know how else to put it. He shook his head setting the furniture down he hadn't realized what he was doing.

He hadn't struggled like this since he was a child. Frustrated with those thoughts he attempted to shove it away tossing his desk against the wall instead. As Jean opened the door she ducked the sound of the desk swallowed by a flash of life maybe a bubble gone in a second.

He swallowed thickly as she stood up.

"Forgive me Jean...I didn't sense you there." He rubbed his temples as she walked over.

She chewed on her lip as she watched him try to calm his mind leaning over the desk, standing taller than he once could. Hunched all the same as breathes unevenly he reminded her..of herself. 

She could feel the pulsing from his mind as he began picking up furniture again. Slowly she stepped in the way waving a hand to move each item back to it's place.

"Professor?"

He shook his head.

"...Charles...?"

He began to blink quickly before looking at her as he took a slow breath. 

"Jean....I didn't see you there." He said absently.

She cocked her head.

"Yeah you said.." surely sense and see were the same for them this time.

He nodded absently.

"Right...did you need something?"

"You asked me to come....professor what's going on with you? Is it your powers too?" She watched him settle against his desk as he shrugged.

"I don't know."

Feeling a bit defeated, agitated..vulnerable he shifted. He felt the need to argue with himself but it was stuck hard. He needed, well he had no idea he didn't register much aside from Jean's concern as she helped him find a chair through blurred vision.

"I need your help..." he finally said.

She nodded not caring what he needed it was surreal seeing him like this. Not shaken but stiff and distant even as he struggled. It was as if he was just a shell looking through her not at her, something no longer in his control. Without much thought she gave his hand a squeeze he almost seemed back to normal she just wished she could keep it that way.

....


	8. How need forms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Found an old computer can't use it much as I only have my mobile hotspot but thought I'd try and even out the chapters with this. I guess they don't look that bad but the last chapter had me nervous it was fighting me and I almost deleted it on accident. Dern back key on my phone I've done it twice, so yeah it had to be fairly short to make sure it was posted. Anyways as I've said, I have some odd ideas, just stick with me maybe you'll find out you like them and happen to be as weird as I am.
> 
> So you know thanks if you made it this far even with this mostly being on a phone and fairly short.

The sound of the clock going off woke Jean from her deep sleep she couldn't remember going to bed but it happened at first she thought she was dreaming, but seeing the remains of his desk..and of course waking up in his office she knew better. She rolled over on her side and looked at him it almost seemed they just laid on the floor and went to sleep. Collapsed even, his jacket was over her though he remained without some sort of warmth, It was Summer plenty warm most of the time but one could hardly turn down the warm embrace of a nice blanket. Sighing to herself she pushed up on her knees and looked around the room. Nothing else seemed out of place, she wondered what set him off but then she knew it probably wasn't that simple.

She could only sense so much.

Turning her head at the sound of his groaning she looked him over, he didn't look to be very at peace at all, brows told a story as he bit his lip breaking the skin she almost grabbed his arm, shoulder, something solid to shake but a firm don't came to mind. She knew she had to let him ride it out she just didn't know why she knew that. Brought out of her thoughts as the alarm on his phone went off she moved to stand. No doubt someone would come looking for him and see the mess, she wasn't sure how off he really was now, and she didn't know how to process it. He was a rock for everyone now it seemed either enough was finally enough or where he succeeded in being support they failed in seeing the warning signs.

"Don't think that way Jean....it's probably just fatigue..." muttering to herself as she stood she wondered if she could clean up the mess before anyone saw it.

As she stepped away she felt him in her mind.

"Don't trouble yourself either..."

She blushed, he would catch her speaking to herself, something she let herself do when it suited her.

"Professor..."

He rubbed his head as he tried to right himself.

"What happened to Charles? Aren't we friends Jean?"

She smiled looking him over, she hadn't really been thinking all that hard on what she should or shouldn't call him only what might be out of the ordinary and what might catch his attention. He returned her gaze it was, he supposed, inappropriate to sleep so soundly against her though he could only feel so poorly about that considering she was a full grown woman he shared a great deal with. It quieted his mind though it was swirling now, there was something different to it, maybe he was even still tired over using his powers.

"Have you lost control of your powers....Charles?" she asked, trying it out again.

He sighed but nodded.

"While not entirely there is something there that shouldn't be..I can't explain it, maybe I don't use them enough...maybe Apocoalypse did more than use me as a play thing, and maybe I never had a reason to use them to their fullest. Either way things are out of whack."

"And that's what you need my help with?" he never asked, they just seemed to shut down there.

Still, he remembered that much well enough, he nearly flushed thankful for the early morning shadows shielding him from his place on the floor, he could stand and play it off but he found he didn't want to. He wasn't sure he could, it wasn't as if he had laid it all out, everything she needed to know abut what was going on in his mind, he could keep whatever he felt the need to. Still he felt a bit torn open for her to examine. It was a strange feeling, he felt bitter which was strange in itself but it was there all the same he guessed he was just confused..needed some coffee. Time to process what he wanted, specifically from Jean. To be so at ease and torn on that at the same time, so much so that he felt a bit of mental whiplash it was even more exhausting.

"It would seem so...I don't suppose you remember all we were talking about do you?"

She shook her head.

"I thought that would be the case....I don't think we are clashing but there is something there to figure out, when I thought you had really meant to...harm yourself it was enough to keep myself stable and come see you. While before it was too much to be in the same room as you some days. Yet now...I'm fine and my office seems to have survived what my desk couldn't." he said absently with something of a grin.

"I saw you..."

He cocked his head then.

"Saw me ?"

She explained the exercise she saw and he only nodded, he hadn't sensed her then either but he also hadn't been all that worked up then either.

"Do you think...I need to leave?"

He swallowed the lump in his throat there is was again wondering just what he felt for the woman if he could really process those feelings like anyone else could or if he was once again stuck in an experiment that would leave her hating him. No it wasn't the same, he knew that much it was just a question, harmless but it nearly cut him deep all the same. She couldn't go anywhere, that would never work.

"Of course not...I think we need to get adjusted to one another again is all, if we are both growing it is only natural we might butt heads in that way, though you're not a threat there is no way it's permanent..trust that." he stood, he wasn't sure when he did but he was staring down in that gaze of hers.

She looked away the color in her cheeks matching her hair it made the furniture move a little but it was calm, he stepped back and cleared his throat.

"I'll deal with my desk, go on about your day and I"ll see you tonight we'll have to run some drills, like we did when you first arrived." he offered with a smile.

"Sure...sounds good.."

He let her go rubbing his temples, it was just a rough patch, he was sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All over the place...mayhaps but can't be too easy, I'm still thinking on which enemy I want and which I want to create but I still don't want to end up loading the story with fillers so..something just had to happen even as light as this. Stay tuned.


	9. The first attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was feeling picky about what I should write next here but I decided eventually. There will be more that didn't happen in the show duh I know b uhy maybe not clear.

Feeling frustrated for some strange reason Jean couldn't really concentrate on Logan's lesson. Which meant while sparring she had been tossed out of the ring fairly quickly. He kept an eye on her knowing at least Amara hadn't actually hurt her. She smiled assuring him she was just distracted normally he might say you just needed to practice more but as a telepath she made quite a bit of effort to prove she didn't need to rely on her abilities. As long as she wasn't injured simply it was just an off day.

She hoped she could keep him thinking that way. She really didn't want to get into a back and forth of worry only answered with I don't know. He pulled in Bobby and Kurt next as she sat out looking up she noticed Scott was looking at her.

As he he wanted to drop his glasses and deal with the consequences. For added effect he flipped her off.

Hearing giggling behind her she sighed not even turning.

"Hey Tabitha.." she muttered.

"Trouble in bbn paradise Red?" She teased.

Logan retired the name but Tabitha was fond of it especially when she might start teasing her. She gave her look as she put an arm around her.

"You can tell me."

"There is no paradise we broke up, remember?" She said firmly.

"Ah that's too bad guess you won't care if I go after him them." Tabitha said with a grin.

Jean pushed her arm away moving to stand up.

"Knock yourself out Boom Boom."

Tabitha laughed.

"Ooh touched a nerve."

Jean ignored her wandering off before Logan caught her, she'd take the punishment but really didn't need some awkward conversation. She wasn't concerned about anything Tabitha had in mind with Scott she was angry with..Tabitha herself. She didn't want to be touched by the girl.

Walking over the grounds the feeling was replaced by dizziness. Blinking rapidly she turned back and forth watching the trees morph from a building to a cave and back again. Stepping back she rubbed her temples she couldn't tell if it was her...or something else. She ran to the house before it faded from view she hit the wall that appeared from her. Turning at the light laughter she froze seeing a misshapen clown. She swallowed thickly.

"Mesmero....Ch...Charles.." Jean let out a scream as she felt a jab in her spine.

She swore as the electric bite seemed to dig into each and every nerve. Eyes rolling back as the tears collected adding to the burn. How long had she been convulsing? No idea to her, when she was flung into the wall it was a welcome change. Groaning as she pushed herself up her voice was heard echoing through the dark halls. Spikes were jabbed through her hands. Pulled down as she was held tight against the ground with thorny vines.

She whimpered briefly before she found her voice.

"Charles! Help me!"

...

As her eyes opened she shot upward she was caught in a tree far from the mansion from what she could see. She yanked her hand free and stared at the bruised skin sweating she could move it but the deep ache was there everything felt so real. Settling on the branch she rested her head in her hands it nearly felt she was trying to reconnect with reality. Still feeling the tug of the vines she flew up seeing the darkness in the sky she wondered what she had been doing this whole time. 

Flying in circles until she could get herself together and find her way on the path home. She landed next to the fountain as Charles came out she stumbled moving to steady herself until he was in front of her holding her arms.

She only threw her arms around him.

"Charles is..." he glanced toward the door at Ororo who watched carefully as he held her closer.

"It appears..we have and old 'friend' coming...call everyone back and let them know we found her."

Now they just had to find Mesmero..


	10. Hold me close

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had an issue I couldn't remember if the clown dream was from Mesmero or not but obviously I kept the clown card for him. Also I have reasons for something you'll see if you notice it.

Charles sighed as he stretched out a bit on the bed. They sat in the infirmary mostly because it had the best shield. He felt terrible as he tried to soothe her he often sensed her mental distress and it seemed that it was only an attack for her to recover from. Hank had a small xray device as they didn't need an entire machine and of course Charles could help with surgery but it was best to have something just in case.

His invention could show color aside from the typical look in. It appeared as if she was in a healing state like the wounds had been there for months. Still the ache was there, Jean didn't say anything from her place clinging to Charles. He was trying to reach her mind and soothe her nerves so she could sleep peacefully. He wasnt sure how possible it was for Hank to safe guard the entire mansion but he had asked that Hank try and fix up the guest space at least.

He wasn't sure if Mesmero would come after him but if he had to move them all down he would. Starting with Jean even though everyone improved and he knee they could defend themselves and those around them.

Still one that messed with the mind for fun was a dangerous enemy. He'd always put their safety first he didn't care who could do what.

He looked down at her she swallowed the lump in her throat trying to ease her own mind. She whimpered as her hand throbbed in time with her growing migraine. She opened her eyes barely focusing on the vision in front of her. The room was foggy as if she had taken a whack to the head. It left her feeling disoriented and she could only panic. Luckily Charles was there willing to hold her.

He looked down at her rubbing soothing circles on her back. He felt a touch of rage though he held it in while with her it was coming back at him the frustration was tugging on him. Yanking him to say more he sighed as Hank came back into the room with some stronger meds he kept locked up. He looked over seeing how protectively he held the girl. He wondered if things would change now. He knew they could only protect one another so much. But he wanted to know if he would watch over her more closely.

She finally loosened her hold to pinch the bridge of her nose still her other hand gripped his shirt enough to keep him there. Not that he minded he wanted to be near her and reassure her. She looked up briefly before closing her eyes waiting for sleep to come. 

"Can you reach her Charles?" Hank asked.

Charles nodded.

"She's still there just strained from the attack he has gotten much stronger it's not like when I reach out. He's jumping in the mind and using it against itself nearly." Hank's face fell.

"But she's changing...how can we be sure she can really recover from this?"

Charles glanced at him.

"Dont worry she'll pick up on it, trust she'll recover she needs to feel that." He said lightly though he worried himself.

Hank nodded.

"For now I can keep her subdued meaning she has more control than it appears. That is all that matters for now." 

"Alright, I'll try and prepare the guest space then some of the defences are down since Wanda didn't need them."

Charles nodded as they were left alone he turned his head feeling her trying to push herself up. He opened his mouth to speak until she pressed a finger against his lips he saw the red in her gaze for a moment.

'Ssh quiet the mind will you?' Perhaps more a plead than anything..tired and weak.

His gaze widened remembering the slight view of who he saw in Apocalypse's mind.

"Jean...?"

She blinked repeatedly before she met his gaze a pale blush coloring her face.

"Cha...professor...what happened?" He shook his head.

"A lot more than you handle right now Jean...get some rest we'll talk later." She looked down dropping her head on his chest taking the comfort in his presence embarrassed or not.

"Will you stay? I don't feel right..alone."

"...Yes." he couldn't deny her or rather he didn't really want to.

Was it wrong? Who could say his mind needed to see she could be safe one way or another. He'd be here...his mind buzzed before he looked at her his vision clouding briefly.

'I'm sorry Jean..'

He rubbed his forehead he supposed he should be sorry. He turned on his side to put his other arm around her she began breathing evenly safe enough to sleep next to him.

He felt some warmth, flames from her telling him that's all she needed right now.


	11. A little of this a little of that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos I'm glad people are still reading my nonsense even when I get distracted by new stories and as expected work takes up the nonwriting time.
> 
> Also...I am awful with mature scenes but still I dont want to push my luck I might up the rating.

Rogue sighed for what seemed the hundredth time. They had been in small teams searching for hours. Though Logan had to convince Charles at least allowing them to take on some security would be helpful, it ended up a waste. There wasn't a trace of anyone getting too close or just hiding out. Then there was of course the video cameras and their lack of footage knowing he'd gone after Jean again and they couldn't do anything about it was unsettling. Charles reached out to assure them it was alright.

For once he was at a loss for words because the reality was clear. Mesmer probably left long ago hoping to rile them up. He had to want them distracted and that wouldn't do. They had to rest and train harder than usual. A simple fact if they were lost just waiting on him. 

The idea wasn't sitting well with Rogue.

She had the toughest time with Jean when their feelings pointed to Scott. Though now she understood that was unfair sometimes you couldn't help who you liked and since they weren't together and Jean wasn't just breaking up a relationship for kicks it didn't make any sense to hold it against her.

Rogue wished she figured that out sooner, she had another friend to worry over now. Even if she didn't always show it in full to the telepath it mattered all the same to her. She looked up as Wanda touched her shoulder. Saying silently she was at peace if he was there he was gone if he ever came. She was a little concerned but always looking for a fight when it suited her she wasn't worried either.

Rogue looked away before her gaze settled on lips again. She couldn't help her mood on one hand she felt guilty not entirely sure that was how she wanted Wanda...or if it was just because she was the first to really touch her that way. Even if she didn't mind it, welcomed the attention of the other beautiful goth she was still unsure. They hadn't spoken on the kiss again either.

"Jean will be fine." Wanda said carefully.

"I know the professor has her. I heard Hank telling Logan he was almost done fixing the safe house for the rest of us." Not that she cared to be crowded in there.

"So what's the matter?"

"I was just thinking while we...uh had the chance to." 

Wanda clocked her head.

"What about?"

Rogue knew she only had a couple of options, brush it off or make it obvious cause talking still wasn't her best ability.

She moved slowly so Wanda could either shove her away, or quickly take control of her so the kiss didn't harm her...however briefly. Easy enough for Rogue who welcomed it sliding her arms around her neck as she felt a welcome pressure from Wanda holding her waist tightly. She was in a different boat just glad that Rogue didn't cut her off it seemed the obvious choice to kiss her she liked her most. It didn't have to be long or perfect or even lead to something no matter how right Rogue's tongue felt against hers. In reality it was passionate enough but they were still awkward young women finding what was right maybe fooling Todd was the best thing that ever happened to them.

Wanda pulled back just slightly letting Rogue breathe though she could hardly mask her disappointment.

"What is it?...did you sense something."

She shook her head.

"I was just thinking...I owe Todd some flies."

Rogue laughed..it really had been.

.....

Ororo made it rain signaling for everyone to return it was late and they ought to rest up. She waited until Bobby waved at the window telling her everyone was here or on their way the last one in would set the alarm. She almost turned away until she spotted Rogue and Wanda hand in hand coming back.

She smiled warmly another pair it seemed, she turned her head suddenly feeling a hand on her waist. Her smile returned seeing Logan he didn't smile really just pulled her closer. Knowing about the attack he was agitated by accepted things were calm now and would be better later. His thoughts wandered slightly as she leaned against him. He didn't really struggle with unknowns, at least where relationships were concerned.

That is he didn't know if it would last, if she knew or if it was really even what he thought. However he had reached a point where it dawned on him that there wasnt much difference in how he treated her and how he treated women around him in the areas mutants were welcome. Even he knew that was a problem he pulled her closer making her look up at him.

"Lo..." she didn't get to finished as he silenced her with a real kiss.

Not just the peck of enjoying another consenting adult's time. She had little left to question now.

....

Bobby was beside himself as he stood in the locker room shower. Logan convinced Charles they needed one as not every room had it's own bathroom and while Charled thought to add more bathrooms this time around obviously there were times after his session they were tracking in a lot more dirt and grime. Even their pipes got clogged and he didn't want to have to help fix it again if he didn't have to.

Not to mention if the treaty went well enough that they got all of the other mutants..

Well even if Charles had business sense and wealth they all enjoyed a private bathroom for every single one of of them? Not happening they would most likely have to demolish what they had to stretch the school out. They had no way of knowing just yet if there really weren't other mutants they had yet to find. Cerebro worked yes but it still had limits missing the sewer mutants. Newborn mutants could come as well...practical being the short reason.

Bobby was just glad after being caught in the rain he had it to himself. He waited a few hours as the institute settled but it was worth it, he wasnt about to freeze that way anyhow. He jumped hearing the door open even if there were shower stalls his desire for bathing alone had nothing to do with being shy.

"Planning on using all the hot water iceboy?" He swallowed thickly hearing Remi.

"Should be plenty.." he called quickly, Logan made sure of that.

"I feel like you've been avoiding me...with Mesmero around we should make a habit of getting closer hm?"

"I...guess.."

"Good."

He nearly jumped out of his skin feeling Remi's arms around him. He hadn't really thought about locking the door..he should have been the last one in.

"H..hey.."

"What? Couldn't tell I was coming into you before? Guess I have something to work on." He kissed his neck lightly.

Bobby really didn't want to admit he found the other good looking..or any guy for that matter but a few gentle caresses, warm breath against his ear, with every bit of Remi pressed right up against him he could change his mind.

To his credit Remi wasn't going to hurt him he chose to mess with him a little and backed off entirely.

" I'll leave you to clean up..see you around ice boy."

With a shudder he waited till he was alone and turned the water as cold as he could get it. Wondering just how desperate he really was the man barely touched him.

He frowned, that was just disappointing.

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I know what you're thinking these other couples get a different speed so to speak and you're right. :P
> 
> Also no Remi is not a creep and Bobby isn't going to be some non-con situation humor me.


	12. Nothing but

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I was spamming my other story but now it's where I wanted it to be. Didn't want to axe this one.

Charles watched Jean run her drills with everyone in the danger room. It had been a week and still every time he look at her he thought of holding her it was getting to him a bit. He was really hopeless he supposed but they were still close she spoke to him every night his mind only wandered to what ifs when he was lonely. He found though he didn't mind how she effected him. He just had to remember she needed a mentor not a boyfriend. He tensed shaking the thought from his head.

He looked up as Ororo patted his shoulder, she sat on the desk and smiled slightly.

"You watch her very closely now, she's fine Charles." She said gently.

He shook his head.

"I know but I don't want anymore mistakes."

She raised an eyebrow.

"Charles it wasnt your fault, he slipped past all of us, they didn't find a trace of him."

When he didn't comment she smiled.

"Of course I understand being nervous when someone you care so much for is harmed near you." She teased.

He shook his head.

"Ororo it's not like that.."

"So it's a crush then? Look at you coming out of your shell." He rolled his eyes as she laughed she had relaxed quite a bit really certain she was dating Logan.

He smiled then, he was glad one of dear companions was happy. 

"Honestly...she's young."

She looked out the window watching the simulation.

"The way he regenerates..Logan is older than I am too."

"But thats... "

"The same thing these are our people Charles we are a small group maybe one day we'll have more children and they'll have children and those will be the ones to truly live in peace with humans. Maybe it'll get better and just be rocky, choices are limited and for when we have this time to train and the rest to enjoy what we do have we can take it or curse ourselves for causing our own loneliness. One or the other."

He sighed as she nodded.

"Dont be so hard on yourself."

"But after Gabrielle, I dont even know what emotions I'm capable of it wouldn't be fair to string her along." He said simply as she smiled.

"Love can be a cruel as it is wonderful, someone can think they love another and not care if they hurt them. You're on the right track if you care. Take it easy you've been alone your whole life maybe you're not meant to be anymore." She patted his arm and went to join them to add a little weather difficulty.

He sighed though part of him could reason she was right she knew what he meant. He didn't love Gabrielle but with Jean it could be possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I know short but I remembered ha.


	13. Drunk prof

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to peeps hanging on even when things get slow. I added more of a skip to build up some background a little more but the point was not to be in too much of a slump.

Some days later leading to the near end of August Mesmero was still quiet and rather than take a break Logan insisted on more training sessions. Erik's acolytes came after a brief run in with the mad man, they dont stay there for longer than a fee more sparring matches.

Wanda watched Jean fly aimlessly around the chandelier on her way out she noticed the red head seemed confused. Though Rogue had been a bit eager she was a little self conscious and all Wanda could do when her nerves got the better of her was give her space. She supposed she didn't have to leave for that. Walking further, stomping a bit to get her attention she smirked as she was shaken from her thoughts.

"Wanda..." landing next to her she brushed her own hair out of her eyes.

"Something going on?"

"No I...was just, enjoying some freedom." Wanda stared at her as she stared at the wall dreamily.

As if she didnt see it every day.

"Oh well I passed the professor he seemed a little off." She eyed Jean as she blinked rapidly as if just realizing Wanda was talking to her.

She frowned, they had several quick private lessons some days they seemed less confused. Other days they were harder to reach, Charles assured them if nothing was damaged and they went unharmed they needed to stay out of the way. He had it as under control as he was going to get it.

"Did he say anything?"

"Just that he wanted to talk to you but he wasnt leaving his office. Are you sure you guys should be training with eachother? What about me and Agatha?" 

She shook her head.

"It's better this way, we live here together you guys don't set either of us off." Wanda wondered about that but she figured Jean had a point.

"Just be careful.." she waved and headed to the door nearly jumping out of skin as Rogue called out to her. She glanced at Jean wondering about her senses around the red head and why she didnt notice Rogue like she normally would have.

Not that it was Jean's fault but definitely a side effect she had to get out of this house.

"Yeah?.." she started as Rogue came downstairs.

"I changed my mind..."

Wanda smirked.

"Let's go someplace then."

"Whatever....coming Jean?" Rogue asked trying to be nice..partially trying to gather the strength she lost trying to keep Wanda interested.

She smiled and shook her head.

"I have a meeting..go have fun." She waved them off and headed upstairs. Only turning slightly to see Wanda kissing Rogue's cheek.

She smiled slightly, lucky them she wondered if she knew about them already. Her head felt foggy.

How she hated that.

....

Charles was sitting on his desk sipping a glass wine when he answered the knock to his door. She cocked her head as he straightened up he was without a jacket, his shirt was partially unbuttoned, and his sleeves were rolled up he smiled slightly as she came into view.

"I was waiting for you." He said as she looked him over.

As much time as they spent together lately he was still stiff and distant. Though his silence was sometimes comforting in a way it was still highly unusual to see him so relaxed. It wasn't a bad thing on his own but as she stepped closer she could tell he had more. Not just wine and he was only relaxed because he was drunk. He still seemed more pit together than the typical drunk at least.

She walked over as he slid off the desk he stood in front of her with an easy smile as he touched her arm. He stared at the spot of her her sleeve that just slightly buckled under his finger before he glanced at her.

"Are you alright Professor?" His smile faded as he looked at her. He stepped just close enough to rest his hands on her hips bringing a blush to her face.

He only held her there for a moment before he pulled her against him.

"You know...I really hate when you call me that..use my name." She looked in his gaze so dazed yet aware.

"I don't..."

"How many...do I really have to connect with..like I connect with you...it doesn't feel very good to be held at arms length." He pouted for good measure.

It probably could have been funny but his mind was projecting a whirlwind. Like he wasnt as far gone as he could be but his emotions were, the wrong words..she feared could set him off. Though there was a part of her that just liked the contact, she dropped her head on his shoulder absently hugging him back.

He actually seemed to stiffen though he accepted it all the same. He was a really odd drunk.

"Say my name Jean." He said suddenly.

"Charles...."

He sighed making her look up at him.

"It'll do."

"You..." she trailed off as she felt his lips against hers.

There had to be more than booze to make him..like this.

She just didnt know if she had a problem with it or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May be wondering about sudden changes...  
Kay see you next time :p


	14. A brief chat

It wasnt until she felt his tongue in her mouth that she felt the need to kiss back. To his credit his hands didnt roam he just held her in place. As if it was all he could do, to enjoy a little. Pace every touch just so, she couldnt deny she felt the warm pool in her stomach was he a good kisser? Did she just find satisfaction because of who he was? She had no idea. No time to consider it either as with a groan he finally moved away, a quick movment as if she burned him.

"I apologize....Jean I..." he looked away, what was he supposed to say?

He didnt apologize for it happening just being forceful. He couldn't regret the warm feel of another in his arms, he didnt feel shame for the..rise she gave him either. It just should have happened better he swore mentally at himself. There had to he regret there.

_Regret the kiss is over._

he rubbed his temples as the distant voice came to mind. He looked up suddenly as she touched his arm.

"It's alright...Charles.."

"No it isnt...you should leave.."

She frowned but turned to do as asked no matter how irritated she was. Was that his way of using her? Shaking the unclear thought from her head she left him alone. Hearing the door close behind her she looked over left confused, he was the one that came onto her.

Why'd he have to act like he was suffering for it.

.....

Late that evening Jean sat in the living room flipping channels she had been in her mind, lost in frustration. She couldn't decide what was worse, wishing she was more prepared or not knowing why she was so frustrated. Feeling rejection whether you brought it on yourself or not sucked sure though there was more. 

She rubbed her temples.

It was just her frustration, and she hated it.

She groaned feeling something of a stab in the back of her head. How dare he pull that, he danced around it but she didn't. Jean shook her head stopping short it only just happened..? She didnt have to be so worked up over it. She caught her gaze in the distant, a mirror of her minds making. That wild appearance again. She stumbled a bit and bent to hug her knees. The room was spinning but she could stay conscious. 

Barely.

....

_'You leave me frustrated..'_

Jean opened an eye and stared up at Scott she couldn't tell if he was concerned or not. She hoped she was just delirious and moved to sit up pushing him away.

"Get the hell away from me Scott." She snapped she covered her mouth hearing the strangled gasp that was her voice.

He frowned.

"So you are sick..." he said absently.

She shook her head as she cleared her throat.

"...sorry..."

_'No we arent.'_

She looked away from him absently grabbing his sleeve. The the disembodied voice sounded both all around her and too far to hear a clear tone.

"I think...I'm being attacked..I'm hearing voices..."

When he didnt respond she looked at him and saw he was still. As if he was just a photograph.

"Scott?..."

'Leave him, he's fine.'

She whirled around and saw a pair of golden boots on green leather clad legs. The upper body..simply not there. She swallowed thickly.

"What do you want Mesmero?" She asked as the..set of legs let out laughter.

"Mesmero? What makes you think I'm him? I can't control how we communicate. You're just not crazy..you need a backbone is all..thats me and thats all you need to know...aside from the fact if I tell you not to mention me you wont."

She snapped out of it in a second and looked at Scott as he examined her closely. As if nothing happened she started to speak and her voice stalled.

_'Told you so.'_

She chewed on her lip.

"I'm fine Scott...I think I need more stimulation with my powers is all. They can be overwhelming." He nodded.

"Still mad at me?" She asked.

"No...but I didnt get much in the way of closure, can you give me that?" He asked.

"If I can..." she stiffened as he turned to kiss her, he tried anyhow.

She turned her head.

"Dont do that, I.."

"Someone else already?" He asked.

She paused, was Charles really someone else? It wasnt clear, Scott stood up and gave her a look.

"Well..?"

"I dont know...he isnt sure."

He scoffed.

"You left a definitely for a maybe, you're a real dipshit Jean." She rolled her eyes.

"It's just mew Scott.."

"Sure, you tell yourself that."

He moved to leave her on the ground though the back on the couch in a moment. Just thinking about Charles and what he might be.


	15. Raise of frustration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning technical mention of self harm.
> 
> And its time to reveal at least part of how I got a certain pairing.

In his bedroom Charles was in much the same boat. Though it came from staring in the mirror nude and just not liking the view. He, at least it appeared, was rubbing where he could with the least amount of movement, pausing at his chest. He felt an unknown shiver there but it was light enough. Looking down he was met with his stiffened head. There was far too much built up frustration for the touch to matter though his mind seemed convinced he wasnt alone. It agitated him.

Feeling like a guest in his body, seeing a flash of blond hair and iced lips in his reflection he nearly stumbled back. It was becoming his battle cry at this moment... but something was right. His heart pulsed the room was spinning though he didn't feel sick he hated himself. It was right there, the lump threatening to choke him was a welcome reminder he could feel something and end it all. Though there was more as wild as his powers had been...he still didn't want to be alone. He blinked rapidly apparently hating that too. When he heard the sudden knock he dropped his hands trying to click back into reality.

"Yes?"

"Its me Professor..."

He flushed and moved to grab his robe frustration reminding him of the days he ought to feel like this. When he didnt know how to speak to women in a romantic way, could get himself off but it never seemed enough, and his powers grew wild with his mood....he paused...he had gotten older in age but that part of him hadnt been lost. He covered himself with the dark robe and went to the door despite himself.

"Jean?"

She looked down fingering her night shirt, hair draping over one eye as she couldnt face his. It would be some day for them all when she took advice from a pair of legs. She didnt feel right she didnt feel safe and ot was overwhelming until she was in front of him. Still limited on what she could say she chewed on her lip letting out whatever came. 

"...Can I sleep with you?"

Face red she almost turned away before he could answer but he grabbed her wrist. Still trying to focus on something a drain was coming.

As she looked at him he didnt have to say anything he just pulled her forward. As he closed the door behind her she crossed her arms taking a look around him simple room. Naturally she had never been in here, she spotted an electric kettle near his night stand with a couple of cups.

"Let's try and relax." He said simply.

With a click of the kettle turning on, she nodded.

.....

It was strange, not even the intimate setting of resting on his bed only with a few clothes separating them. Not even the peace silence brought to them he guessed they ought to talk about what happened but he didnt trust his words right now. He just needed to be satisfied with what he had. It would do, he glanced at her some time after they finished their tea.

She took it as silent approval to break the silence. She told her what she saw..he told her the same and the silence came again until she sighed.

"What's wrong with us?" She asked tentatively.

Hr shook his head.

"I wish I could say, but I haven't a clue.. I can't even tell you what we should or shouldnt do." 

She looked down.

"I could think of one...or four things." She said lowly.

He raised an eyebrow, though they weren't completely lacking on a sync.

"Jean..no."

"Charles you need closure..and we need to know what's in his mind..she might be able to help track him down." He shook his head even cerebro had been stuck there.

He had developed yet another power there was more than one David to fool the xmen.

"....you think we've begun to split too? Just like that?" He asked quietly.

"No idea...but if we did...if the connection is damaged we need to find out...what if we did? What if they are like Lucas? We should be prepared...shouldnt we?" He gave her a look but he couldnt really argue that.

It wasnt quite right to assume they were both just crazy. Mutants didn't work that way, it had to mean something. Part of him preferred they were crazy, even for mutants there was medication for that.

No pill would keep these...voices situated when they had to come free.

He nodded slowly thinking they would need a little more help than last time. If they were to really find his son, whoever he was right now.

....

Nearly dawn they hadnt found much rest just blinking in and out he finally looked toward her. That splash of red on his pillow as he found her green gaze he frowned.

"I'm sorry."

_Not for the kiss_

"I know."

_I think I wanted you to._

He didn't say anything more just rested his hand next to hers open palm up. Empty, until she grabbed it carefully.

"Maybe we should..try and sleep."

_Does it have to mean more...right now?_

"Maybe..."

She shifted to her side to rest her head on his chest. Unspoken words yelled between the lines only needed so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay maybe confusing but I thought that while they may stand in their own way making it harder some things were just understood making some of the slack easier if that makes sense.


	16. A trip to change

Charles didnt want to bring too many people with Mesmero hiding out. Though as he slept on it he knew Jean was right. They could go back and forth on it until they were blue in the face but but in the end they knee nothing. He didn't know what tests to run that would push enough or if he should even test at all. David lived like this even with Lucas in charge he had to know more if he didn't perhaps they could help him too.

He glanced at Jean she made the list unsurr of what they might be up against this time around. Storm and Logan sat in front, Bobby and Gambit were behind them, Scott...though he argued, Boom Boom, Rogue and Kitty even Wanda...and Lance naturally. It was just the right limit she thought. Charles wasn't sure he only focused on what it felt like waking next to her. He hadnt bothered getting dressed and was only thankful his morning wood was manageable.

He looked at their clasped hands hr wasnt sure when he grabbed it but he held firmly. He didn't want to think about another pointless fight with his ex. Desperate times he guessed..he supposed he was lucky he goy so comfortable with her something had to give him strength. As they couldn't go on like this whether Mesmero was just fucking around, not strong enough on his own, or if he actually planned something.

In this state they both knee they would be useless they had to do something.

.....

Gabrielle wouldn't even open the door when he knocked. A look from the window made sure of that. He sighed until he resorted to his powers to force her to open up. Logan put his foot in the way before she could slam the door. Charles only explained their previous failure to those that weren't there. He didnt want them to worry before they met his disturbed son.

If this ended in failure he would give the full story.

She frowned her short hair now tight on her aging face making it obvious. That is the difference in aging from human to mutant.

"Oh more freaks, i have a cat did you come to chase him away too?" She sneered.

He held up his hand before one of them went after her. The jab sticking him a bit as Ororo gave him a knowing look.

"If you want to take your anger out on anyone do it to me. We...I need to find David." Charles said finding himself ignoring her tears at the mention.

"So he is worth your time again?? He is probably long dead...driven while by that..that infection you gave him!"

Jean sighed.

"Look...Ms. Haller..."

"Dont you start..." she stiffened as Jean gave her a look.

"Do yourself a couple favors, talk when spoken to, in there and dont fucking interrupt me when I'm in the middle of a sentence."

Charles glanced at her as Gabrielle's mouth fell. Logan smirked as she got a few expected grins. 

Tabitha gave a low whistle.

"So red does have some backbone, shocker."

Jean shot her a dirty look as Gabrielle grudgingly moved aside. Whether she was afraid or realized she was stuck if she didn't cooperate who knew. She closed the door behind them and crossed arms.

"Well..what do you want?"

"He told you." Ororo said.

"And he hasn't come since you scared him off, so why here."

"You must know something else about your son.." Jean said.

She shook her head, Charles frowned .

"I'll go digging if I have to, dont make that choice." He threatened.

"Go ahead, I havent seen him...I guess we have that in common." She snapped bitterly.

"But you know his hobbies what he might look into, alla it takes is a list and we are gone." Jean said giving her a firm look.

"Right...I know what _David _likes, thanks to his father he isn't in charge. How do you fail someone so like yourself?" She said accusingly.

Charles winced but didnt deny it.

Wanda and Rogue looked between the pair as they turned to Ororo who just gave them a silent nod.

Stay out of it.

"It's better than nothing Gabrielle either you want to find him or you don't." Charles spoke as if he was tired of her presence already.

"Dont put that on me, if you made some effort as a man...been what you promised we wouldnt be in this mess." She hissed.

"You did it to yourself didn't you?" Jean said.

Charles looked at her as she frowned giving Gabrielle a cold look making the other step back.

"Excuse me? You don't know anything."

"I know how hard it is to be an untrained telepath after you realize one bad day could kill anyone beside you." She answered.

"I.."

"You bitterly chose to go against your ex and keep him from the one who could train him. When I was a child i wouldnt be able to stand here I had gotten so dangerous. I didn't have enough hate to try and make friends i knew what would happen. This is me now and what you took away from your son what if he learns not to harm others and kills himself instead...make the list do something positive for him stop being selfish." Ororo took her hand giving a nod to her mood as she sniffed Jean shook her head.

"I won't baby her Ororo you know how dangerous and untrained telepath can be. She should be bitter on her own time." Charles noticed a flash of red in her gaze before she settled entirely.

He nodded then as she turned on her heel, hopefully for her sake, it was something to help them. She rubbed her temples.

They wouldnt be going anywhere without something.

Anything.

.....

Kitty and Rogue looked on as Gabrielle wrote down notes of everything she could think of.

"She surr got helpful after that tongue lashing." Kitty said.

"Yeah...remind me to stay on her good side, she seems to hate her more than the professor does." Rogue said.

Ororo and Logan heard them talking and wondered about their relationship. If that sparked the redhead.

...

Gabrielle let her botterness aside and let them use part of the house...just on the hopeful chance that David was near by. Jean looked put the window remembering the last time she was there. She jumped slightly feeling a hand on her shoulder. It was Charles she smiled slightly.

"You didnt need to stand up for me." He said simply.

She shook her head.

"Then imagine I wasnt, if you parted 9n good terms and David still got put in the same boat...well obviously nothing would change. I know both sides fail in a bad relationship..it doesn't change that she was wrong and her crime was worse. We will never know if she had contacted you if things would be different but he could have had a chance." She spoke passionately dropping on the windowsill as she huffed.

"You really....empathize with him." He started.

She shrugged.

"I moved away from the worst of it his child self will always be there he'll never grow with those memories he cant understand sticking as much as anything else...it's just sad." She said slowly.

He stepped closer to pull her against him, he could have said he remembered going through it being the only telepath in his family. Being alone when he scared himself or others, he could have said a lot of things but old memories long since buried didnt respond well to being dug up. He held her close, it was the most he could do.

He kissed her forehead thinking if they jad split..if her real anger matched Lucas. If his...was damaged.

He simply had no clue, something he learned to despise.


	17. Caught in the act

He couldn't or wouldn't will away his desire as he held her close. Though in a deep kiss holding her close je didn't want to think on which it was. He wasnt going to be too forward no matter how much of her he wanted to feel. At least one side of his brain was thinking that way, the other made quick work of taking her seat to put her on his lap. The others were downstairs speaking with Gabrielle or surveying the area Jean only came up as a power surge rearranged Gabrielle's living room.

He meant to check on her buy frustrations were ruling him again. Jean suspected her mood also helped the decision to let them borrow her house. They werent sleeping there but it was a place to move a bit that wasnt the xjet. 

Jean wasn't all that concerned about much either against him. He pulled away just so, pressing his lips against her neck he murmured this couldn't go on. Not here, though as his lively erection pressed against womanly heat he knew it was only because they would be interrupted. He wasnt sure if he was bitter or relieved she wore jeans instead of a skirt. He held her hips, forehead nearly against hers as their breath matched each others.

He frowned.

"Jean I..."

"Just say it..."

"I want to say you're too young for me...that ypu deserve better, and I shouldnt be the one to stand in the way of that....especially when I cant say what this really is..but" he started immediately knowing she would say something.

"It seems she's right though....I'm too selfish for that..you'll have to be the one to walk away." He spoke firmly with a purpose.

She bit her lip as her second set of lips seem to pulse..for him. She nodded, better than being sent away. She didnt say anything but wondered if it was really confusion or if he'd been alone and grown so used to it there was more. As if he didnt just have uncertainties about them..but he had no clue as to where they could head.

It didnt help her much but then they werent starting a life together they just stopped fighting and gave in to a couple urges. Watching in it wasnt clear if it was the fire in her gaze or the diamonds in his that lead to this..or if it was just the pair but then it didnt matter, not yet. Taking another kiss if only a moment he let her move one of his hands up to her breast he paused feeling her rub against him as she did.

"Jean..."

"You only have to tell me to stop." He swallowed a groan but thankfully he didnt have to try and answer as the door was pushed open.

"Jean..?.." they barely got apart in time...at least for a little dry humping to go anywhere.

Scott only stood in the doorway gripping the handle like he needed someone's neck.

"What the fuck is this?"

Jean climbed off Charles as he crossed his leg his arousal could be controlled fairly easily. It had been something he figured out when studying had to come first . Though it wasnt working like it normally did. Mainly because Scott or no she wasnt a fantasy but someone who actually wanted him. He felt like a virgin allover again. He wondered if they were split if that was entirely him. He couldnt imagine how sane the other might be trapped un his mind. He never handled loneliness well he was just good at ignoring it.

"What does it look like Summers?" Jean said, annoyed at the interruption.

He grit his teeth.

"This is why you wouldn't get back with me?..cause of him??"

She rolled her eyes as Charles stood up slowly.

"Scott.."

"You, I dont want to hear from." He snapped at Charles.

"Then leave, however I choose to check on Jean is none of your concern." Scott stiffened as Charles shook his head hopinh to clear it.

He could say he was jealous of Scott, or that he was agitated they were actually interupted but it was more it came from more. Perhaps they were split it wasnt the worst thing he could have said Scott would get over it but it felt like it the most....they could say. Perhaps he should accept they were split he at least knee whoever that person was didnt care for Scott and was tired out already.

He would be fascinated if he could recover from it like Jean did. That much he couldnt help, in all his studies he wad faced again with an unknown. Scott grit his teeth.

"So your powers are on the fritz too..thats what you need your son for? Fine just remember David actually is our age. Even as a mutant you'll die before she's old you'll never make her happy." He stormed off before he removed his glasses like he wanted to.

Jean almost went after him to give him a word or two before a punch in the face but he grabbed her arm.

"Let's not fuel the flames he will no doubt tell them everything we can get it out of the way and focus on the real mission." She wanted to argue but a firm look for him told her not to.

There he was acting as he wasn't used to, he knew of the gap obviously but it hit all the same. Maybe he wasnt good enough to stay selfish...still he wanted her close again he swore stepping past her he thought the confusion passed when your teen years were over. He wished he could find every person that ever said such to him and push them off a cliff.

He paused.

Was that his wish? He had no idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes the confrontation was short as...its not over yet naturally, so uh stay tuned.


	18. Dealing with dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes more changes also edit to fix some typos.

Jean sighed from her place on the Xjet after about the fifteenth time Kitty said 'i just cant imangine' or 'you?! And the professor?' she decided she needed a walk. They were thankfully asleep when she returned but the night air was nice. She just roamed the grounds and thinking of her first encounter with Lucas she didnt think they were here. At least they werent monitoring Gabrielle's home. She looked up at the massive place, she always thought about a big nice house, a loving husband and a few kids in that order for her future.

She guessed it was a little dramatic to say it changed when it came to the professor. Though she wasn't even bothered by the light teasing, she bothered over the fact there wasn't much of anything there. She huffed not even sure what she wanted.

_'A certain dark eyed man lacking in hair.'_

She shook her head rubbing her temples.

_'Not a bad idea, but this confusion you're forcing on yourself is making me sick'_

she turned her head and saw the legs again, barely in the dark. Though whoever waxed it last still did a hell of a job. Jean looked around wondering about just speaking. Though she sounded a bit distant perhaps because Jean couldn't see her clearly.

'Who are you?'

_'I told you, backbone.'_

'No that's what you are, what do I call you?'she asked rolling her eyes.

'_Maybe you'll find out.'_

'..Why did you let me talk to Charles?'

_'I didn't, its harder to add restrictions to another telepath. Since you're so hot and bothered for him.'_

Jean flushed hearing the laughter in her head.

'I..'

_'Don't try and fight it, then you'll learn real confusion why do you need to make it so damn hard? Telepaths latch on to each other the longer they stay near. Different relationships form and stick. Your girl Wanda is fond of that old woman shes the mother she never had while Wanda is of course a child to her. It's never going to change. Even though they arent directly telepaths their minds know what they manipulate it is hard to break. Consider them the control group, you and Charles..one in the same, you didnt need a parent you were the rising star..another just like him since he's not a creep it wouldn't have been noticed until you were of age. So things went the other way for you. Deal with it.'_

Jean stared at the ground as the image faded. This women picked up on much more than she did..did that mean they were actually split? On one hand it had to...on another perhaps the other side of mind was opening up. She shook her head she really just didnt want to be split. Fragmented in a body that ought to be hers alone. She sighed resting her head on her knees...is that what consumed Lucas? She felt bad for the guy...he didn't have someone to keep him sane.

"Jean?"

She looked up and realized she had raised the jet as Charles had to fly up to her. She set it down carefully and peered in the window to make sure she hadn't jostled anyone. The seats broke down and went in the wall. Offering spaces for the limited cots to come out. Another reason for picking those that might not mind being close together. She wondered about Bobby and Remi but then she didnt think she'd been very observant lately. They didnt behave like a couple but like anyone else he flirted with Remi came on hard and Bobby didnt have a single complaint maybe overwhelmed but he was happier he was around. 

"Everything alright?" He had spent quite a bit of time talking to Logan and Ororo with Gabrielle so for now he missed Kitty's nonsense. Though he saw Scott was avoiding them and sleeping outside.

"Yeah fine I was just thinking...she was talking to me again she said we latched on to each other because of our abilities." 

She explained as he sat next to her he wouldnt have considered it. Though it didnt sound too far from fitting either.

"Does it bother you?" He asked.

"I made out with you didnt I? New possibilities like that dont change anything." He shook his head.

"Perhaps, but it's not something I can rate, Gabrielle is all of my actual history...the rest little attractions." She laughed.

"You take being inexperienced so....properly."

He smirked slightly seeing her smile.

"Guess I have to."

She smiled as she sighed.

"I dont want you to feel like you owe me something if this voice....ah does she have a name?"

She shrugged.

"She wouldnt tell me."

"..if the voice is indeed correct on this, or anything else... that doesn't mean I dont care I just want you to be happy and I see this mess is pushing you far from it. " he trailed off at her confused look.

"Meaning...?"

"Take this trip...as time to think for yourself whether you want me or not nothing has changed."

"What are you..." she paused seeing the blue in his gaze before the image of him faded entirely.

The concerned blond only patted hand before she was sitting up again. The sun was rising and it appeared she had slept on the jet. Charles shifted next to her she still pictured the pale blond...just how much of that was him and why could she only see her eyes, hair and the white of her uniform? She rubbed her temples...that wasnt just latching she was fucking super glued to his mind.

Something she didnt quite have an issue with.

"Charles...wake up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also yes I know I havent given other couples much light but again they got the easy rode so they get to be filler  
.


	19. Time to move forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I know been a while, been off my phone but all over on whether this would continue or fall flat I think I just needed a break. Anyways I know I have some typos my mind is quite a black hole it took some time to really see how many were there glad it wasn't impossible to read.
> 
> I also don't even know who will be reading this since it's been a while but might as well take advantage of some time off..and I'm probably going in circles but you can't tell me that doesn't ever happen we'll get there.

....

Charles was a little dazed when he focused on Jean's face he didn't feel right, it was different than he had been feeling and it wasn't quite sick more like he was recovering, perhaps from a wet dream. He sat up with a start as she touched his arm he braved a look at her again he accepted it, he had no choice he really could waste time going back and forth and fighting every little thing when they needed to track down David. Still it was a little embarrassing, aside from arousal, love, typical confusion he was left wondering what other emotion ended up being foreign to him during his studies. She offered a soft smile as he attempted to wake up without a cup of coffee, he wasn't much of a morning person she wondered when she picked that up when he wasn't locked in his office they often saw one another after he was ready for the day. She wondered if the nameless voice was on to something. She just didn't want to give the benefit of the doubt to someone only she could hear, Charles would know if she was lying or unintentionally lying because her mind made something up sure..but it honestly still sounded off to her even as a mutant. Though she didn't have much to consider aside from that she wondered if Wanda or Agatha heard things like this briefly, though she doubted it.

With the control they had she bet they didn't have to worry about a possible split.

Her gaze fell on his face as he cupped her cheek at least allowing himself to appreciate just how beautiful she really was, especially as the sun was rising he wondered if that was what people called "cheesy" he had no idea but he was certain he didn't care. She only smiled back they didn't need to say a word though some laughter grabbed their attention. Boom Boom was probably being her typical bitchy self but at least Kitty was normally playful, Jean rolled her eyes as she joined them on the ground with them, they would have to talk later...or not.

_'I saw her.'_

_'Your voice?'_

_'No...yours.'_

She jumped as Kitty waved her hand in front of her face and grinned.

"Maybe you guys ought to be lovey dovey in places we aren't just gonna pop out in?"

Jean nudged her as she giggled, they were joined by the rest as Charles straightened his jacket.

"What's the plan for today?" Logan asked looking between them.

He still wasn't entirely sure how to look at it, if anyone was like a kid to him it was Kitty or Rogue...or both the way they were but Jean was close there too it was just a little different like she was the kid he saw grow up he really did trust she could make the right decisions. Though after seeing her at her worst even Charles some he questioned if they could handle it. While he couldn't sleep and Storm woke beside him she assured him not to worry, even if they were blinded at least right now only they would know what they couldn't handle. Part of her worried if they were separated with their powers so alike though, still she'd much rather support them they were important to her she would just be there if they were wrong to keep quiet. She had meant to encourage him all the same but now that they had much more to worry about she didn't know what side to stick to this just wasn't the time to be pushing losing Jean like when Scott was there for her. If that happened with both of them who would reach either of them she didn't want to think about it and wouldn't let Logan either.

He shook his head.

"We will need to go explore the area, a few of you will stay here while we look where he left, I'm afraid we're stuck running on senses and hope here." he said slowly.

"So I'll go with Jean since you're too distracted to." Scott said as Kitty and Lance sighed seeing the jealousy all to clear, she would tease but she thought it was cute she liked to see her teammates pair off.

Jean frowned.

"We need to be together we barely have anything to go on." she argued.

Charles sighed.

"Perhaps he's right."

"Professor." she started giving him a look, he shook his head.

"He approached you when we weren't near each other last time perhaps you'll pick up on more without me." though he hated to say so he couldn't really concentrate thinking of what she told him...a woman split? What did that even mean?

If these voices were indeed a sign they were like Lucas would this woman eventually grow tired of the confusion and attack Jean if she decided she preferred men, there was no way he was hooking up with a guy but what if it already happened and he simply didn't know? The thought wasn't pleasant but then sleeping with anyone with no memory wasn't pleasant if these voices were just now getting stronger perhaps they had done nothing, if they were just being caught in the act? He didn't want to think about it. He was going to try and find what Jean saw when she was much farther away from him.

There was of course the slim hope that this woman wasn't just a sign of mutant insanity and she did like Jean but then where did the confusion come from, what left him airy now?

Full of more questions than he could tolerate he told Bobby and Gambit to go with them, while he left Boom Boom with Kitty and Lance leaving Logan and Storm to go with him. Jean wasn't so sure about this but did as she was told she would head to where he was last seen and they would go in the opposite direction. Wanda and Rogue were to remain on the suggestion that if they felt something was wrong they would split off.

....

Bobby glanced at Gambit as they roamed through the ruins he wanted to say something to break the tension, Scott seemed to be glaring daggers at Jean while she tried to ignore him though from the unnatural movement of the trees going against the wind he could say it wasn't going well. Gambit nudged him as he looked up again with a nod back down to tell him to look elsewhere he glanced down and saw his outstretched hand. He blushed they really danced around the subject Gambit..that is Remi when he was off duty flirted a tiny bit but really it was hard to read him Kitty questioned them but he couldn't even answer her. Still he guessed he picked up on his nerves he trusted Jean it was the oddest thing. He just knew he could trust her but there was something else he picked up on though it wasn't his ability he was worried about her and didn't want to get caught in the crossfire if this unknown thing picked up strength. He took Gambit's offered hand taking a comforting squeeze, Gambit smiled but didn't say anything he only watched Jean. He wasn't sure they really had a relationship..friendship wise, though she laughed at his jokes and didn't make him feel like the odd man out though he brushed that off as just her personality with people it didn't mean he had anything negative to work with.

Scott on the other hand.

Well he'd see about that one.

Giving Bobby another bit of comfort he questioned that girls were easy to keep on with he knew what he liked fine but he wasn't sure how to go forward, Bobby wasn't just an easy whore or even a girl worth fighting for that had any sort of personality he acted like it was the same but he couldn't actually think of when he had dated a man. He could think of some drunken incidents, something he was good at but that's all they really were no matter what he tried to assure himself of. He guessed it was simply better than nothing that he wanted to treat Bobby better.

Yeah, that would have to do.

Scott sighed as they reached their destination long since separated from the others, he just continued to picture her against Charles it aggravated him to no end what did he have that Scott didn't. He grit his teeth there was money and power in the house he glanced at Jean.

"Thought you were more than this." he said.

Her fire-y locks whipped around as she stopped to look at him.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she snapped.

He frowned.

"I get it, the professor is in charge, you could have anything you wanted if you just listened to him did as he wanted...like some weak willed gold digging whore..." he didn't have time to stumble back he was sent flying with a good punch to the gut and the force of her mind to give it all the juice it needed.

As he hit the wall her gaze went black as she screeched at him.

"Fuck you! Better than being a sniveling little boy who can't please his woman and just fucking pouts about it!" she growled.

She nearly jumped as Gambit grabbed her from behind she blinked as she realized she had raised a chunk of rock that no doubt would have flattened Scott for good, she tossed it to the side as he absently rubbed her forearms.

"Easy chérie, he's a dick but we're still on the same side now."

He froze as she turned that heated gaze to him.

"Really? Funny I don't feel like throwing a boulder on you."

He chuckled nervously.

"Well thanks I appreciate it."

Despite herself, or the voice whichever lead the charge she smiled as her gaze settled, she looked up and saw Bobby trying to talk to Scott, she took a deep breath as Gambit released his hold on her. There was a shiver up her spine as she looked up for a moment she could see it, see David flying off...or Lucas rather for a moment if only just she thought of where he went at least what he had in mind. If it was Scott picking to push her or not she had no idea but she shook her head. Gambit frowned as Scott shoved Bobby away and stormed over to grab him by his uniform and yanked him off the ground he smirked as his shirt sizzled a touch showing what other control he had.

"Don't go there _Summers _" he spat.

Bobby flushed a bit as he dropped him to the ground, she shook her head wondering if it would have been better to leave Scott with Charles.

Jean looked up again trying to get that feeling back, that sight.

"See something?" Gambit asked taking Bobby away from Scott with little thought on it.

She nodded slowly.

"Should I get the professor or can you visualize it now?" Bobby asked carefully.

She sighed and rubbed her temples, she wasn't even sure how to answer him, she closed her eyes and took a moment before she opened her once again darkened eyes and looked up again she almost caught it before a searing pain reached her mind. Her body wasn't attacking her, she hadn't just pushed herself too much a rock had gone sailing promptly catching her off guard, Gambit grabbed her arm before she hit the ground while Bobby froze Scott up to his neck she was sure he was yelling something but her vision blurred she lost the sight of David all together and her ears were ringing from her daze how nice they were thrown off track again thanks to Scott, she'd punch him harder next time.

.....

Charles sighed heavily as he felt a firm prick to his mind he could see the ghost figure even if Logan couldn't track the scent anymore there was something only for it to grow cold. He paused not even looking back hoping a break would do him some good.

"What is it Logan?"

He shook his head.

"You have something to say about the relationship I know you."

He frowned.

"I don't know about that Charles, just don't be the one using her and we won't have to worry about what I'd do if I did have something to say."

Charles glanced at him as Storm smiled slightly.

"We just want you to be happy."

"That's what I said." Logan offered as she smiled slightly shaking her head quickly.

He looked down.

"I don't know how long that could last." he said gaining their attention.

"You're unsure." Storm said absently.

"No not a bit." she cocked her head as she gave Logan a look.

"So what's the problem?" Logan asked.

"I should be, one minute I'm worried I'm not the right pick, I'm not young enough, the next I'm satisfied because of how well she knows me how easily she can learn what she doesn't because of our powers and their similarities then I'm right back at square one but thinking of these spikes here and there where I'm out of control. Then it's just unfair to risk her...now I'd much rather be near her.." he spoke honestly having no luck finding this woman, he'd caught a flash of blond and white in puddles or broken glass but he could simply get no further.

He needed a peace of mind to fix that, which he got with Jean.

He was surprised to see Storm smile.

"If you share something similar with her and your son you can only work on it while we look whether we find him or not, don't feel bad about it embrace what is clear and worry about the rest later." she understood the mixed feelings as they were screaming for her, but differently so there was something about seeing him unsure and out of his comfort zone but once again in control that helped her worries maybe more than it should have but it did. It was still hit or miss but she felt better about it.

Though if she was honest it didn't bother her beyond that anyways there wasn't much to fight with instead she just needed to see them doing the best by each other no matter where it started. Logan just seemed amused.

"So take her on a date when we get home, otherwise stuff it."

They rolled their eyes at him but he was nothing if not straight to the point, Charles was thankful for that, Storm too, he could tell all too well he knew them plenty well and their mood was something to focus on in this mood of being trapped in certain uncertainties.

"Professor!" he was shaken from his focus as Wanda flew over.

"Scott hit Jean with a rock she's out!"

He paled, he never took off as quickly in his life.

He prayed Logan and Ororo were on his heels because if she wasn't up and ready to go when he got there he might just kill that boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I took French a long time ago and as I have a hard time remembering things I'm sure that's wrong but if you remember Gambit from this version of Xmen you could probably hear what he's saying...heh.  
Why did I choose Bobby for that bit....no idea I love moving the mutants around and no he's not getting a new power I have been slowly ticking away at people so I wouldn't forget major changes but it's time to pick things up a little more as you can see. Also..yes I know I keep switching, they have their code names and real names and I just slip into whatever...meh.


	20. A terrible mother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for threat to unborn child....you know, and mention of suicidal behavior...well you know you'll see it's when Gabrielle and Charles are arguing so you can also skip some lines near the end.

......

Scott had been in the middle of a fit before he was slammed against the Xjet, Charles gave him a dark look as his gaze only briefly landed on Jean who they had sitting up trying to keep her away. Her temple was bleeding no matter how much Kitty tried to clean up if anything it seemed to be making it worse Wanda gave her a tug when she seemed ready to rest her eyes. They watched him as he crossed his arms feeling Logan grab his shoulder he looked at Scott as the simpleminded fool was set on the ground.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?" Logan snapped, before Charles could go off.

"Interrupting the search." Gambit answered for him.

As Charles looked at him he continued waving one of his cards in Jean's face watching to see if she would follow it or not with her eyes, it was a weak attempt but she was trying.

"Jean said she saw something and while we were heading over she said she lost the trail, he hit her while she was raring up to use her powers, think he really knocked something loose." he explained shaking her as her eyes closed again.

It had been a fairly sharp rock and for the way he looked Scott was no lightweight catching her by surprise did plenty it wasn't just a little bit of annoyance, Charles grit his teeth.

"I suggest you start talking Scott." Charles warned.

He shook his head.

"If you can't be trusted then you don't need to be here, Logan I want him taken back, now."

Logan gave him a negative as he looked at him.

"He's quiet cause he knows he just attacked his teammate on a mission cause she doesn't like him anymore if he's a ticking time bomb we can't put the other students in danger we'll tie him up and keep him till we all go and decide what to do with him after." Charles didn't like it but he knew he was right, he hadn't shown any aggressive behavior to the others but what if it was just because they were in a closed space and he knew he was being watched.

With places to hide around the mansion..he didn't want to think about it, what made it worse is he wanted it to be they were blowing it out of proportion that he got it out of system and he'd only have issue with the pair of them. Though there was more it was like he didn't know him anymore, perhaps dramatic but it was true, he felt guilty he wanted Scott to come to see if it would help if it triggered something but he'd been wrong to leave them. Part of him was angrier with himself for trusting him once now he wouldn't, not with his Jean. He glanced at her as she began blinking rapidly trying to push herself up, even Boom Boom backed away from her as she swerved he walked over to grab her arm and prick at her mind a bit she focused on him after a moment before he nodded at Logan to grab Scott.

"I....I...h..had itttt..." she stuttered rubbing her temple as the bleeding finally stopped almost healing as she did, reminding him of her control over her blood which they still knew nothing about limited testing had shown nothing about it he guessed having her in the field was all that could really test that.

He smiled slightly as he swallowed the lump in his throat watching her eyes flicker in her confusion.

"It's okay Jean...we'll find it again."

She shook her head unnaturally something a painful looking twitch she tried to repeat herself and her voice changed, it was even...sultry? He wasn't sure if she had an accent or was actually coming on to him with a head wound, he looked away as they watched him. More specifically the shifting woman with blinking unmoving eyes dancing from green to solid black.

"What's wrong with her eyes..? Why is she moving like that?" Wanda and Rogue asked.

"Charles?" Ororo started.

He hadn't been completely clear on David after all he made Jean sit down keeping an eye on her as he looked at them while Logan rejoined them satisfied with Scott's hold.

"I've taught some of you that as a team we must be there for one another and hoped this would hold true of me, when we first came I didn't believe we would find him so I truly wasn't thinking of preparing those of you that weren't here. My son David doesn't have powers...the other two within his mind do I was unable to find them through Cerebro perhaps because they are not just figments of his supposed telepathic mind but because that is his mutation. I gave him space let him make his own path so long as he didn't appear on the news didn't end up causing havoc but he's all but disappeared. Now, it seems both Jean and I may be experiencing the same split now."

There was silence as they looked between each other.

"Why didn't you say something to us? Before we came back." Storm asked, referring to those who met him.

"I wasn't sure what to say we had it managed but so far they had been unable to come out and do anything, I wanted to believe that her powers were just pushing at mine finally that maybe we needed to take a mental health month or something now that it seems that hit to the head dislodged something there is something to think of. If you do not feel safe you may go back to the mansion freely but she must recover and we need to see if we can find David now. I'm sorry yes, but that's all I can say." he finished nearly jumping as Logan chose to gave him a comforting squeeze to his shoulder.

Knowing all too well how hard it was to be emotionally honest when so many saw you as someone to look up to, someone that was never shaken, he glanced at Storm as he did, yeah he understood.

"...So like if you really are two or even three how would that work? I mean will they attack you out of jealousy even though you live in the same body? Over Jean?" Kitty asked.

It was some sort of drama, and just her brand of freaky Lance nudged her as she shrugged, Charles looked at Jean.

"That's not something we considered, it is why we kept it quiet we have a lot of things to discuss.." he answered as she looked up at him suddenly with a screen to black it might have been a jumpscare he worried for her neck with those movements wondering just how much of the voice was fighting Jean.

"And what happens if we find David...and?" Wanda started.

"Lucas, and Ian."

"The three of them, is there anything you can even do?"

"We can see if he's willing to cooperate if we can see how we live with this switch, Jean is very controlled but the other isn't and Jean will have to be pushed back...so long as we can get her to return after, to properly train with us all."

"What about you?" Rogue asked.

He gave her a look.

"I.."

"I mean if you're split too and it took this long to show up what if you're the control group and the other person has the answers you're looking for?" she asked.

"Ooh meta....I think.." Boom Boom said.

Charles sighed rubbing the back of his head.

"I'm afraid I have no clear idea, I've only gotten a brief glimpse of her..."

"Her? Your other is a woman too?" Bobby asked, he couldn't say he really understood it all but then he didn't always understand everyone's powers, sometimes it was just cool he wasn't the only one...yes even now.

Charles nodded.

"Jean told me she saw her as well, that I don't get but then this is new for us all, I think my surge of powers was the first view of her but now that I can be around everyone safely again she may be fine, but I will be unable to go on with this if we don't get them out and used to everyone."

",,,You think it's her fault?" Wanda asked.

He looked at her eyeing the way she pointed, knowing which her she meant.

"I don't think Gabrielle.."

"Not for you and Jean for your son...er..sons, Agatha said a lot of things can just happen because a telepath exists with another telepath, if she tried to....well..end the pregnancy at the wrong time. Then he could have been aware and did that to protect himself when Jean was still in need of training and you were the one with all the control he could have reached out without realizing it...or something. Maybe that's what these two are doing now?"

Charles stared at her, wondering just how much Agatha could have known about this if they could reach her, for an old witch the woman didn't have a lot of free time and even when she was available if you missed her she was gone and didn't come back till she saw it fit. No matter how much she favored Wanda they had limited visits usually just calls according to her. Then there was the feeling that Gabrielle probably had tried to get rid of him.

"How much do you know about this Wanda?" he asked carefully.

"Just what she's told me...she never mentioned it was possible for one like you to split up like that but she suggested that even the most well trained could slip up and not know why if introduced to uh, what was it aggressive line of thought with the force of psychotic."

Rogue looked down at Jean as she rubbed her head, for the first time in a while she felt bad for her, there really was always something new to consider with them thinking of the times it felt like someone else was trapped in her mind she could only imagine what she felt if their powers were matched. She bent down really not paying attention to the conversation and carefully touched Jean's hands the black of her eyes turned green again she tried to focus on Rogue's face. She offered what she hoped was a comforting smile, some sort of point that it would be okay as her gaze melted to black again the red head returned the smile and gave her hand a squeeze then. Charles glanced over he wanted to tell Logan to at least go look for Agatha but at the moment he wasn't sure what to go for and if she would even be able to reach Jean or the voice so long as they were left dazed like that. He smiled at Rogue though she was a little easier to read.

"I'll need to have another talk with Gabrielle...whether what you're saying is it or not it appears we don't have enough information to rule out." it did make some sort of sense after all he didn't have enough of his power specific to test and he knew before this that the mind of his was different from those he did have access to.

Simply put he couldn't put a negative or a positive on her words and for once not knowing was as terrifying as it was reassuring, was this temporary or would this be life...could they even live like this? What health problems could these others have that they wouldn't notice until they were active? No he wouldn't go there. He would deal with what could be in front of him.

As much as he disliked the idea.

......

Storm went with him to mediate a deeper conversation with Wanda and Rogue there if it went wrong, while Logan had Bobby and Gambit keep watch just in case something happened and kept an eye on Scott leaving Jean with Kitty and Lance. Storm didn't think that just because the outside wound had healed and scarred over that she was entirely in the clear and they couldn't let her sleep.

"Crazy isn't it?" Lance asked.

"Really...it's like you want to feel bad for Jean cause you see how it effects her but we don't know what being locked away did to that other girl either." Kitty had her moments but she was sweet and loving and cared about Jean.

Teasing her was one thing but now it didn't feel so right, Lance slipped his arm around her, when he decided to stay naturally it was for Kitty but Jean was one of the first he chilled out around. Yeah he still thought she was a goody goody know it all but he found he didn't really mind it with her and Storm he was still stuck in the mind that it was nice to be included even after they remained on opposite sides for so long. Now he was just used to her and it was strange seeing her like this.

"Makes you wonder, how do go on if we can get her out and have them live as one..we don't know all her powers I didn't even know she could heal herself." Lance said.

"She couldn't, not before that might be the other girl....and like what do we even call her?"

Her gaze turned black again and she cocked her head.

_"W...why d...ddoes that mmatter?"_

They jumped and looked at her as she grew frustrated, shaking the jet the damn stutter she would strangle Scott if she got a chance, asshole.

"You."

The black immediately faded and Jean tried to doze off again before Kitty moved closer to grab her by the shoulders, making the black appear again.

_""A...ask...Eee...Emma..."_

The black faded as Jean's eyes dulled.

"Jean!? Hey wake up!"

Lance stopped her from shaking the girl as her chest rose and fell evenly.

"She's okay, I think this is a little much..do you know an Emma?" he asked checking Jean's pulse...something she once insisted he learn to do properly.

".....Well there was a girl at school before....ohhhh what if that's the professor's other? Wanda was right they must be able to reach each other!" she said excitedly as if she had it all figured out.

Lance smiled at her, the girl was so bubbly she easily overpowered herself.

"Maybe....so do you..." he looked up seeing she had already phased through the wall, he sighed.

"Do you want to go ask him?...yeah..okay babe, be careful." he rolled his eyes, she was lucky he loved her so much or he'd have a thing or two to say....well not really he was a little too hopeless around her.

"Come on Jean...voice...girl..person anyone just open your eyes."

....

"How dare you suggest such a thing!" Gabrielle growled.

Charles shook his head no interest in her mood, Storm tried to ease them into it but he just wasn't feeling very patient no matter what she did or didn't do he wouldn't put it past her. She gripped her fists ready to punch something, or kick whatever was going to get to them.

"I would never...you really don't know me at all."

"Whose fault is that?" Charles snapped.

She gave him an incredulous look.

"Really? Really Charles you want to go there?? Where the hell were you for our marriage?!"

"Now Gabrielle.." Storm attempted.

"Hush he has the nerve to sit in my home and accuse me of breaking up this family the audacity...I see you don't have your red headed little knight with you tell me Charles did you chase her off too? That would be a new record almost makes me feel stupid for wasting so much time on you. She should abandon you while she's young and doesn't have to throw her life away."

Storm looked at Charles and cocked her head seeing the ice blue radiated from his heated gaze, not a glow but a color.

"Charles...?"

He glanced at her briefly then back to Gabrielle.

"We were never a family you made sure of that you never could handle me, you were so fascinated when we first met and I slipped up now you play the victim you never would have had to struggle but you shut ME out!" he growled.

"You missed his whole life, what if you always knew about him what would that have changed you were so obsessed." he gripped his slacks in annoyance.

"I did what I had to do, if you had told me I would have taken him with me he could have gotten help....he didn't have to suffer with someone that would never understand.." he didn't have the power in his tone that he had a second ago she struck a nerve Storm stood quickly to get between them.

The blue was stronger, she wondered..this didn't seem to be Charles arguing with Gabrielle, if Wanda's thought was right when did the other really first show up how much did she know that Charles needed to know? With the shaking furniture as her mood shifted it was time to put it to rest they would have to talk again but she wasn't sure counseling was the best option. It had been years but she knew certain words left unsaid festered a whole lot more than people would think and usually they blew up the worst. 

"That is enough...the poison you have inside you is why he asked, but that was apparently pointless."

Gabrielle shrugged.

"So I hurt your little feelings? You stole my life...you freaks are the reason why I'm alone!"

"So we're freaks, then I guess that makes you the mother of one in case you forgot."he hissed.

"He left too...I am no ones' mother."

"So he's only mine because you're upset with him."

She scoffed as Storm willed him to turn around and head for the door.

"He's not yours either, when you tried to kill yourself I should have let you he's better off without you and I hope you never find him and fuck his life up too!" Storm gasped lightly as he breathed heavily, that was a low blow just for the sake one of, taking off Storm almost missed his departure glaring at his ex before she went after him.

He threw the door open startling Rogue and Wanda as Storm grabbed his arm Kitty was high tailing it up the path.

"Charles that will not help anyone." she warned.

"She infuriates me, it's not helping to sit there wishing she'd spontaneously implode either." she cocked her head it wasn't a clear change but his tone had definitely softened.

"What happened?" Rogue asked.

"Well..." Storm started as Charles turned, Wanda examined his eyes how they radiated with bitter fury...she couldn't remember why but she remembered that fury of her own life she felt for the guy...or woman whoever was in charge now.

"What always happens, that bitch blames me for every little thing but can she talk about anything of importance? No that's too much to ask, before we know it we can't even ask a question to get back on track because she had tunnel vision. I know I messed up I wasn't playing the poor old misunderstood head up my ass fucker but why is the whole relationship failing on me!?" Storm tried to calm him as he shook the trees around them and applied pressure to a few windows shattering them to dust.

Wanda and Rogue swallowed thickly listening to him as he pinched the bridge of his nose, it left as quickly as it came a stray liquid tear gone icy before it hit the ground.

He looked up as Kitty stopped to catch her breath as Storm rested her hand on his shoulder.

"Kitty did something else happen?" he asked weakly, feeling much like instead of physical blow needed Gabrielle just needed to loosen things up with words.

"Jean fell asleep...she's fine but...well.." she paused noticing his eyes.

"Well?"

"Are you....Emma?"

He blinked rapidly as he eyed her.

_"...Who told you that?"_

"Ooh freaky..." at the look she got while processing the much softer voice she shook her head.

"Sorry I mean...the girl told us"

"She actually spoke to you?" Storm asked, unsure of if they should immediately let Charles go back in his current start...or Emma either.

_"....I'll kill her...ugh fine yes and her name is Phoenix....you can tell her I said fuck you...."_

She trailed off before he went to his knees this was far too much stimulation.

Storm looked at them.

"Bring the jet closer we'll let them collect themselves I don't think Gabrielle is going to be much more help right now." Storm said.

They did as they were told and left them Storm sighed as he rubbed his head fighting a migraine, she wished she had a word of comfort for him....them but all she could do was rub his back and wait for some sort of safety to get there.

"What's worse...? Dealing with her or....?"

_"She means nothing....I can't keep this up....how does my boy feel...because of that cunt's bitterness??...I'm a horrible mother too....though I guess."_

Storm's gaze widened for a moment, so that's what it was, thinking of Evan..even if he was her nephew he was always more she felt it when he left to be with the Morlocks, Charles and perhaps Emma too convinced her it wasn't her fault she didn't see his struggles that he didn't leave her because he found somewhere else to be. She could do the same for them. She just had a feeling now as the blue finally faded she didn't want to hear it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not smart okay but I'm pretty sure the speech center of the brain isn't in the temple I wrote it that way for a different reason. Humor me alright :P It was a slow ride I know but finally we get to why Jean may get some pairing with both...I'm weird so yeah.....humor me for that too. Stay tuned.


	21. A shift in view

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's odd I know but it shouldn't really be disturbing all I'm saying is that there are two people in one mutant body each with their own form, no that's not a spoiler Legion is what it is based on. So as he changes completely into the different states they do the same...though I couldn't resist pointing out something that would be darkly funny and totally meant to be a creep thought so fair warning it's when Charles is panicking about a himself as a woman and that time of the month,

.....

Jean wasn't really aware of the world around her though it came in waves she saw it was already fairly late, and silent so she was really alone with her thoughts at least it felt like it and alone was a questionable word all things considered. She left the xjet stopping only as her wrist was grabbed, with a turn she saw Charles he looked exhausted as if he or Emma or both finally allowed a few moments to really cry one stray tear was one thing but the drain was obvious. She nodded toward the trees, in the direction she was sure she had seen the trail, he followed behind her wincing as his head throbbed he didn't even know what to say. The fragmented mind was a hard thing to handle? Duh, he couldn't concentrate as Emma's mind was conscious beside his and he knew Jean must be feeling the same thing? Obviously, how could they continue in any way with their relationship with two others to consider? He really didn't want to go there but it seemed like they had no choice. Even if both were fine with the choice it didn't change the fact that four in two bodies wires were going to get crossed what if he checked out and just happened to come back to this...Phoenix on top of him. He couldn't say he'd be all that upset by it but the disorienting feel of consenting and not consenting it sent a shiver up his spine. Not to mention there was the other feeling, he got a glimpse of his son but even though he lived it he saw how difficult it was. He couldn't even get himself together if David was willing to listen how much help would they even be? He sighed as they stopped where she grew confused had they really been walking in silence that whole time or had Emma said something he heard the name but it had been an echo in his mind he wasn't so sure it would be the same when she actually spoke.

That was a whole other can of worms how much of a different person was she?

Would he wake up from now at random moments in each month from a certain visit from everyone's "favorite"..."aunt" he paled no man needed to go to the bathroom healthy and watch his dick bleed, crass but who really cared his chest felt sore. From what health topics he studied when Hank did need an extra person he feared how else he could be changing, he nearly jumped out of his skin if he could feeling Jean grab his hand.

"Charles....? Your panic is a little too clear." she said softly, perhaps...hopefully, the first thing she had said to him since they took off as he had no clue.

"I'm sorry, I always thought when I got my powers under control and remained in that state there was nothing new for me to discover for myself...that I couldn't just have my school but I could really help other mutants while I stayed in the shadows. I never considered I'd have to be prepared for this and it's all a little overwhelming." he said plainly.

Jean looked down as she tried to think of what to say to that, as dazed and out of it as she was she couldn't help but wonder...no matter how easily he could probably evade Cerebro she wondered if they should have been looking for him sooner. Then again maybe there was a better chance now that he assumed they weren't coming she wondered what Lucas had done to David...or if he was safe and he was still their way in. In truth they needed to get themselves together to be of any good to David, Lucas and Ian, though they couldn't think that way, Phoenix wanted her freedom she wanted to feel real touch like Jean did, Emma wanted her son back while really coming in place with the reality of how alone she had been only being able to communicate at the low points of Charles control and only with Jean. It was a little depressing feeling how well she knew her while not knowing her at all. She wouldn't actually reach out to her it drove her crazy what was his obsession with women that kept their distance? Still the desire to touch was there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also if you don't get the joke it's very old fashioned, aunt flo is the monthly visitor women wish they could kill...you know, also I know it's short I needed a transition...also yes Lucas and David as well as Ian will get the same treatment so hope you like it stay tuned.


	22. Freakin' finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sort of all over the place this is true but it did stop me from just deleting stories so that's good right? Glad people are still reading and hope you like the rest. Did I alter more powers....yes....heh

.......

They had ended up sitting in that spot for a while while Jean tried to pinpoint the trail again, not really talking or looking at one another he let her focus though he didn't find it hard to do or painful in the least he was almost satisfied they were just alone. He supposed he shouldn't feel that way with a school of students to think of but in all fairness there was no harm in savoring that time with her but for his ways age aside he didn't know how to do this. It was in his mind in the front and back, pushing him forward and holding him back from just taking anything he wanted at all, he knew she could do it on her own...or rather with Phoenix he shook his head. No they would still have some time on their mental own, wouldn't they? David seemed to but then that was probably a bad thing for him. He absently took her hand lending a hand, taking comfort in her, he was regretful but he knew it wasn't all his fault though even if it had been he couldn't pretend he could just take it all on his own and try to help his son when she returned the squeeze he felt somewhat better he really didn't want to go into this again and again but it was all in the front of his mind all the same.

He heard a distinct groan in his mind.

_"I....have been with you longer than you would know...we share more than you know, kiss her or shut the hell up about it."_

He blinked rapidly feeling a rush followed by a brief but intense headache it was the clearest he simply heard her even with the breathy tone suggesting she was using more energy than she had to reach him now, still drained but very near the surface. He looked at Jean who met his gaze he could only wonder if Phoenix said anything about it he shook his head.

What the hell.

He scooped her up so she sat in his lap and planted his lips firmly against hers, she returned the fevered kiss wrapping her arms around his shoulders as he held her waist as tightly as he could he groaned at the contact it got a little more difficult to remain the gentleman everytime he touched her. She sat something of a side saddle on him unsure if the burn wanting to spread her legs was only her or Phoenix as well they had questions, it wasn't something you just accepted and moved on from. However...that idea didn't bother her, maybe because if she could want him too then Jean didn't have to worry about her body being used for someone else. It sent an unpleasant shiver up her spine but Charles and his firm hold washed the idea away his more obvious erection helped too. She never thought she'd ever be with him like this, even when she was of age...and Jean was definitely the sort to consider that. She didn't like the idea of putting someone behind bars for passing feelings the risk wasn't hot it was stupid and she had always been smarter than even she gave herself credit for. Now there wasn't much between them to get in the way.

....Except a cockblocking S.O.B that is.

The sound of someone clearing their throat made them pull apart gasping for air still savoring the mixed soft and slight roughness of one another's lips Charles didn't release her though he just loosened his hold looking over as she turned to glance over her shoulder. Scott was leaning against the tree, now that was reason for a little alarm, Logan didn't make light traps that was why he was in charge of them. She slid off of him as he stood up, Charles looked him over as he chuckled pulling off the shades though before they had a chance to react his eyes were open, his eyes weren't just white he didn't have pupils, no iris he grinned as Jean gave him a curious look.

"Consider me a warning." Scott's voice said.

"....Lucas." Jean said.

He shook his head.

"No....he wouldn't be so nice....you can't just visit her and expect not to be watched....caught....keep your distance he'll never forgive you and you can't beat him." he said solemnly.

"David....I...." he trailed off not sure what to say, not to..whatever the hell this was.

He shook his head.

"I'm not really here........so if you're trying to reason with me don't...." he said the figure already beginning to fade.

"But you don't have to be here to listen to reason...we get it now and we're going to help you whether they want it or not." Jean said quickly holding her temple hoping she could force the doll to work both ways he swallowed thickly as his mouth shifted into a tight frown, a single tear falling down his cheek.

"We don't need help...and we don't need to be found." the last part a whisper in a moment the body melted into liquid and dispersed like it hadn't been there leaving the trail once again pulsing Charles looked at her as she took a breath rubbing her pulsing head.

_"You reached him."_

"Barely...." she groaned and bent down closing her eyes, the dizzy feeling a little consuming...had that been Phoenix helping her? This wouldn't do...no using her powers couldn't set them back like this she looked up she hadn't realized he bent down to her level to steady her she stared at the iced color of his eyes...Emma.

_"Easy does it red...."_

"I...."

_"Sshhh, focus you've pushed back on Charles..."_

She paled a bit she didn't mean to....did she?

_"Of course you did dipshit...digging through another telepath's creation you have the common sense what do you think you did." _Phoenix snapped.

She frowned and tried to ease her mind as she felt soothing circles rubbed just so with two fingers on either side of her head.....she hadn't thought of it consciously, but she knew...she knew Lucas might notice or miss her on a slim chance but Charles? The one he hated and blamed for the loss of their would be father-son relationship? No that wouldn't just set them back he'd really be lost was that the power that came from working with them...the other parts of themselves? She looked up and saw the blue was gone as he sat there with his eyes closed recovering from the force of it.

"I have the trail...." she said slowly.

He nodded not trusting himself to speak he still felt a little airy, Emma told him what Jean did he gave her a look he hoped wasn't just pained but proud too.

"But...?" he asked slowly.

"I think.....Lucas is altering it, there are a lot of lines from here to where he is...I don't know if we should rule out some of them and then head back to the school or not but we have to pick something."

"Whatever you think is best, for the moment we will have to rely on what you sense." he said firmly as he slowly helped her stand.

"We're done here then?" he asked almost hopefully.

Jean nodded.

"We just have to be prepared for some fancy flying until I narrow it down I wouldn't head back to school yet." he nodded.

He almost turned to leave passing another look where David's doll had disappeared, so he did have powers did they only just manifest that way? He wondered, there were many more things to consider now he paused as she came to hug him. He sighed holding her, he couldn't help but feel a failure he missed his younger days where he could be satisfied shifting blame they didn't need Gabrielle they had to look toward the future. Still he wondered if Lucas might listen to her when they found him, he didn't relish the idea of coming back but it would be a little easier with Jean beside him at least.

_"Twit"_ Emma mumbled.

_"Stop being a dumb ass, for fucks sake."_Phoenix added.

He sighed.

"That boost seemed to be just what they needed.....Jean will you.."

"Yes I will Charles."

Unspoken words ended being a lot easier than they needed to be but then fighting two extra voices while acknowledging a connection that had been sitting in the making for as long as it could have been? It needed to be.

_Be with me, no matter how it ends, for now._

_I want to be, it makes it easier doesn't it?_

Though perhaps they were just stubborn and the exasperated women in their minds had simply had enough of it, finally they really were done with the back and forth he took her hand, perfectly pleased with that, they needed to go while the trail was fresh after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also yes I'm being a tease this has been a real slow burn and I can't even promise it'll be worth the wait I just hope you like the journey there...also this is just as frustrating for me so throw me a bone. Perhaps if I had come up with a different plot things would have been different and believe me I have a lot of ideas for them, this seemed to fit to me. Kay stay tuned.


	23. On the trail - Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> See I didn't forget, I got off work a bit ago so here we go, I wish I could commit to set hours but I'm extremely particular and set in my one day schedule if you don't think like me it will make no sense but I could not take one day at a time more literally. I don't trust I'd keep a schedule just know if you're curious about anything being updated recently I'm coming back for it. Even when I disappear.

.....

Logan and Storm didn't sleep much on the xjet so when Jean and Charles returned, hand in hand no less, ready to go they didn't bother to wake up the others. The way the jet moved, the way it was constructed they would be fine unless of course, they hit a bad storm. Though naturally, Ororo could take care of that usually, she still didn't mess with tornados though. She looked over her shoulder where Charles sat with Jean in his lap, her eyes bright as she waved her hands indicating where Logan should go next. Charles could only really focus on the doll, and wondered if they were separated which of them was in more danger if he could just appear like that. He knew Lucas hated him, and he wasn't sure about Ian but if he had anything against Jean would they just go after him or choose her because he was happy with her. He sighed looking at her as Phoenix..whose energy was very obvious at this point, easily followed the chosen trail without much of a push. Only a few minutes together and he was happy with her it made him wonder how many thoughts of her had been buried while he questioned if he could feel them. It was sort of a nice feeling the only sure thing in life right now even a mutant needed that. Let it give him strength for when they finally found his son. He looked down he guessed it should be strange being the older one but it was just another reminder that things were different. There were worse things in a relationship than an age difference.

He blinked as she stopped leading and sank against him.

Charles was only concerned for a moment before he caught Storm waving to get his attention, just barely from his lower position he could see a somewhat vibrant red string he sense uncertainty from it but it was a trail at least in the right direction she wasn't asleep or worn out she was changing her method how long could they really search? He smirked pressing a kiss to her forehead, pride settling in his chest he looked down as he patted her shoulder, or rather watched his hand move he couldn't really feel it...was that Emma too?

.....

The trail led them deep in the jungle though it wasn't a clear location it was warped the trees appeared normal from a distance, turning blue as one got closer empty space held what appeared to be an invisible piece of a tree that mirrored another. It made searching impossible, and Charles knew he was watching, as he saw Kitty try to phase through trunks only to end up lost inside luckily Boom-Boom could free her a little easier than Gambit could. Charles let Jean go forward with Logan while he stayed back with Storm, he didn't want to separate but he thought if he ever had to prove he could handle this would be the best way. He didn't want to give them the impression that he was a lovesick fool distracted by his pretty young girlfriend. He sighed that held two meanings but he refused, with the help of Emma, to go over it, again and again, he couldn't do it he was driving himself crazy and that was doing him less good than anything else right now. He was still worried about her but he wanted to make sure that even aside from his somewhat logical thinking that really they had to split up their telepathy if he slipped up and showed again he could watched over the back while she took on the lead and hopefully cleared a path for them. 

Storm watched him tap his foot in front of a yellow rock that was currently bouncing between colors like some tye-dye mess, she didn't know what this was or the full extent of David's powers but like the others, she would wait and see because it was obvious that no matter how powerful Jean and Charles may be; even together. They needed all of them and it wasn't going to go very far while they were in the dark she walked over carefully kicking at the purple sand...or mud she couldn't tell the textures seemed to have changed as well. She rested her hand on his shoulder as he looked up she smiled.

"She'll be fine."

He smirked, she also knew him fairly well but it was entirely different he had seen her as beautiful yes, she was, but she'd always been just a friend even a sister by his standards, all the same, he would feel better when Jean came back with or without information.

"I know I trust her, it's just...new."

She smiled warmly, it was nice to see him like that she didn't doubt he had genuine feelings for Jean it was all over his face but she had never seen him show interest in anyone it was strange but good.

She thought they would do fine...better with each other.

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short I know but humor me...


	24. Hint of the past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long while I know, but you know...here I am.  
Warning: implied youth self harm, abuse, and domestic violence

.....

Jean stared blankly as the pulsing colors in the bushes distracted, like it's own form of brightly colored dance of poison, she jumped when Logan grabbed her arm, she could focus on his face and wait for the color to pass before she took a deep breath. She nodded to him in thanks as he released her and nodded back, remaining quiet on Charles' quiet plea in his mind while Phoenix was getting used to having more control when she didn't care about the consequences of going untrained. She looked around and noticed the tree wasn't scarred like the ones behind them he had been scratching into them in case they got disoriented. The forest didn't like it one bit but clearly whatever altered this land had their hands tied and they had moved far out of sight of the X-jet. 

Feeling uneasy Jean stepped closer to Logan who was ready for a fight.

"What if it's nothing?"

"You want to take that chance Red?"

She sighed heavily.

"I'm not sure..."

She didn't get much time to think as the color faded all at once leaving them in darkness, she grabbed Logan's wrist looking around trying to find something, anything to focus on, though beyond the shapes barely visible she could only tell they were still on solid ground. She pinched the bridge of her nose as her head throbbed.

_-I don't...think this is Lucas..-_

As her grip loosened she smirked.

"....me either."

They hit the ground and as the color returned entirely to normal with only the borders in wild colors they were effectively lost where they wouldn't be easily found.

(....)

It didn't feel good, or bad really, there was nothing Jean was sure she had died calling for Phoenix and Logan and getting nothing she looked around but only saw darkness. She waved around a bit until light flooded into the...room? She looked around unsure of how she ended up in what appeared to be a child's room, that is the bed was sized for it. There was a desk, a small fan, and a small heater which was unplugged suggesting it was hot enough, and there wasn't anything more. The wood floors were light, walls a murky pale color faded, everything was just so plain she stood up and looked down realizing what was wrong then. She wasn't in this room she was inside someone's mind, could it have been Ian? Just what was Lucas planning with this? She couldn't really will the body around but it did climb out of bed she looked as it did and saw the bandages on the right foot, oddly placed, hands reached down to inspect the messy bandages and she heard a sigh. Something of an echo she wondered if this was what Phoenix heard.

Then there was a rush of movement as the door opened it matched the walls perfectly it was hard to see where it was until it was opened, in walked a lovely dark haired woman , with a tired smile and dark eyes rimmed in day old bags. She held a tray with some oatmeal and a piece of toast the child looked down again and she saw it must have been running to put the plain shoes on. Wanting to hide their feet from this woman.

"Morning dear, I hope you're hungry."

"Not really....do I have to stay in here mother?"

Finally a word, it was a little boy, so it had to be Ian she was sure of it, but then she wondered who the woman was, she wouldn't put it past his ex to pass David off to someone else this wasn't her.

She frowned.

"Don't start, he wants you in here, that is the end of it." she said simply.

"....yes ma'am." Jean felt a stab at that, as she thought of why he'd be hiding wounds from her, and wondering who this other man.

She walked over and set the tray down on the bed before moving to pat his head.

"Sharon!" they both jumped as she quickly ran out to close the door.

"I'm coming Kurt!"

"Where the hell were you??" he growled.

Jean felt a rise of panic as he moved to take the tray and hide it under the bed before getting back under the covers pulling the blanket over his head, before a yelp from his mother and a crash suggesting what happened. The whimpering on the other side of the door hurt her heart a bit she knew he knew too much, afraid of this..Kurt. 

"Leave that little freak alone."

"Kurt please you said he was allowed one meal a day..."

"It doesn't take that long to drop off a meal Sharon.." Kurt snapped.

"He just wanted to come out for a bit..."

"Not a chance freak, you'll have to die before we drag you out of there.' Kurt laughed cruelly as the screams started again, the boy shifted as if he was covering his ears trying to escape. He didn't know, Jean felt, why she would bring it up she knew he would get angry that his mother was treating him like a person for daring to talk to him. she could have said anything.

It went of for a while before shaky hands moved about beyond blurred vision as he pulled a shard of somewhat dirty glass free that was hidden in his pillow case, making it clear to Jean what he meant to hide, the screaming stopped suddenly as Kurt happily called out Cain. Jean paused she remembered that name and glanced down just barely getting a glance at the boy. His split lip and swollen black eye did little to hide, her gaze wide as the vision soon faded.

"...Oh Charles..."

.....

"Jean!"

She sat up with a start and looked around seeing all the color had faded the little bit of trap finally gone, Logan sat on the ground next to her examining her he was still a little dazed and confused which he hated and thought he might just wring David or whatever's neck when he met him...them. The whole thing was a mess to him.

"Where...?"

"Same place Red, take a minute and we'll see if we can't get back to the jet now."

She only nodded numbly, wondering why Ian wanted to show her that...or maybe it was Lucas she guessed she couldn't be sure but it seemed like Ian, she bit her lip thinking of what else could be buried down in Charles' mind. What made him who he was and what he was better off forgetting, it made her think of how little she really knew about him.

She wondered as she watched Logan pace and occasionally claw a tree if Charles would even let her in enough to learn more than she did, she shook her head hoping that was Phoenix's thought. She knew it would take time but then she didn't know how lost he could be, that hurt thinking of pain she could have caused him not thinking how it would effect him.

_-Perhaps you wouldn't feel so conflicted if you had started dating sooner.-_

She rolled her eyes hearing the laughter that came soon after.

"Oh shut up Phoenix."

Logan only gave her a look he wanted to ask her a few things but it seemed a bit pointless now he hoped she really would be okay with Charles or whoever was going to end up coming for them.

......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw on the wikia that was listed as his mother I just gave her a different look...I think I remember her being blond but I changed it cause...why not.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if its shorter on my end and looks off on the computer. If you don't care then read on I have some really odd ideas I accept that and move on.


End file.
